I had a job as a butcher but I made a pig's ear of it.
I was in demolition for a while but it all fell apart.
I trained as a travel agent but it didn't get me anywhere.
I worked in a pottery but I soon got fired.
I tried being an executioner but there was just too much hanging around.
I was a gynecologist but was struck off over a cock up.
I worked in a bank vault - it was a safe job - but, on the debit side, in the end I lost interest on account of being left aloan a lot.
I used to work in a mill but couldn't stand the daily grind
I worked as a shelf replenisher at Tescos, it wasn't great but I thought I'd see how things stack up
I tried to become a professional board gamer, but I came last at the snakes and ladders tournament so it was back to square one.
I tried to be an painter, that didn't work out so it was back to the drawing board, but I drew a blank
I used to test Alfred J's corsets.
In the end I was done up like A Kipper.
I wanted to be a meat stacker but the stakes were too high.
I worked at a drawing pin factory but got the tin tack
Then I worked at a candle making factory where they made unusual shaped candles in the shape of insects. I met someone from these forums there. I put the wax in the moulds and she put in the gnat wicks.
When I left school I worked in a chewing gum factory but shortly after starting the bubble burst
I then tried hairdressing but got fed up of all the girls snipping at each other
I love gardening so tried to make a go of working at a garden centre, but promotion was slow as they kept beating about the bush
My job as an astronaut didnt last long - they thought I was a waste of space...
I hated my boss at the fishmongers - so I told him he could take my place - and fill it.
Tried my hand as a pimp - but my clients just kept f**kin about all day. Same thing when I was a drug dealer - the clients were a right sniffy bunch.
I thought being a traffic warden would be just the ticket - but I was wrong.
Being a cowboy fan I thought I'd become a mortgage broker - at least that way I'd be the loan arranger. As a masseuse, I just kept rubbing people up the wrong way. Then the kiddies' roundabour operator's job - I gave it a whirl but my head was in a spin.
I left my Job at the Bingo Hall.
I found it all a bit Clickety Cliquey
The Payroll Department are out to get us.
Watch your BACS
I'm a pest exterminator. times are hard. There are a number of us chasing after the same pests but only the one who catches it gets paid.
It's a f**kin rat race out there
He was considered one of the greatest in prosthetics. He was an absolute leg-end.
Being a locksmith is a great career choice. It really opens a lot of doors.
What do you get if you cross a greengrocer with a carpenter? Veg-tables.
Last week I sent in an application to be a taxidermist but they told me to go and get stuffed
My first job was as a paper boy but the early mornings really screwed me up.
I want to work in insurance - there's no money in off-shore ants these days.
I'm giving up my career as a Vet's assistant neutering cats. The spay is terrible and I often get the sack.
I used to restore German Military equipment but I was given das boot.
I used to wax body hair but I couldn't stand the owers.
I used to review nuclear warheads but they fired me. I think it was an unfair dissed missile.
I tried to apply for a job with Gillian McKeith but I couldn't pass the exams.
I got sacked from the bowling alley for lieing between the lanes reading heat magazine. Hey, we're all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars.
My current job is painting hazard signs but I'm on my final warning.
I'd like to be a worker for the wine and cheese shop. They get better overtime.