Writer's note: Not all that happy with this. This one is longer that CNR#1 and strays away from the actualy nursery rhyme more, i don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I put a few more jokes in the words to. Once again, i don't think it is as good as #1, but i'll let you be the judges.
EXT. STREET/WALL - DAY
A CHAV LOOKING KID (15) IS SITTING ON THE TOP OF A WALL.
COCKNEY:
(OUT OF SHOT): Oi! Humpty Dumpty! (HUMPTY DOESN’T NOTICE HIM) Sat on the wall! (HUMPTY LOOKS AROUND FOR THE COCKNEY) Down ‘ere ya egg.
HUMPTY LOOKS DOWN AT THE COCKNEY
HUMPTY:
Stop calling me an egg Mr Cockney, people will start believing it.
COCKNEY:
(ANGRY) ‘Stop calling you’ shut up. I’ve got a good mind to give you are great fall.
HUMPTY:
(GETTING SCARED) S - S -Sorry.
COCKNEY:
Where’s youa dad? Dave?
HUMPTY:
My dad’s not called Dave.
COCKNEY:
I refuse to call a man Davity Dumpty. (IMPATIENTLY) Where is he?
HUMPTY:
(INTIMIDATED) I don’t know, I really don’t.
COCKNEY:
(MENACINGLY) Get down here boy.
HUMPTY PUSHES HIMSELF OFF THE WALL AND LANDS ON HIS FEET. THE COCKNEY COWERS OVER HIM.
COCKNEY:
(MENACINGLY) I suggest you run off and find him. He has something of mine and if I don’t get it I’m going to wring his neck and smash his skull. Understand?
HUMPTY:
(QUIVERING) Smash … his … (GULP) skull?
COCKNEY:
Oh yeah. (LOWERS HIMSELF AND PUTS FACE INTO HUMPTY’S) And none of those horses will not put him back together again.
HUMPTY:
The NHS isn’t that bad.
COCKEY SLAPS HUMPTY IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD AND HUMPTY RUNS OFF. COCKNEY DUSTS HIMSELF OFF AND WALKS AWAY.