British Comedy Guide

Christmas come-down

Christmas Come-Down

INT: A living room - Day

A family are sitting relaxing after Christmas dinner.

DAD (changing channels on remote control)
Lovely Christmas dinner pet. I'm stuffed. Mind, there's nowt on telly this afternoon.

DAUGHTER
Dad! Stop it. I wanna watch Top of The Pops. You've got OCD.

NANNA
Who are they?

MAM
An electro pop group from Glasgow.

NANNA
I cannit see the telly from here. You know you get a quid off yer licence if you're blind.

DAD
A quid! Pays for itself then!

NANNA
'Ere, Dad. What do you think of these mince pies from Sainsbury's?

DAD
There's just air between the pastry and the mince. What are they? 'Taste the Distance'?

MAM
I've got some cream for them if ya want?

NANNA
Eeh, ah love a cream pie, me.

Sound of Dad splurting his tea.

MAM
Mind, ah wanna watch that documentary ternight about DNA.

DAUGHTER
What? National Dyslexics Association?

MAM
That's right love.

DAD
Here, pass us that Whiskey will ya Mam.

NANNA
Here you go son.

Sound of liquid being poured into a glass. Then drinking.

DAD
Aah! I love a round bodied sixteen year old.

DAUGHTER
Fatha!

END

Maybe full bodied rather than round. Is it supposed to be a skit on The Royle Family. If not it might be better if it were, otherwise it seems like a a bit of a clotheshorse for gags.

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