Right before my crying tantrum! 
General, General Thread Page 2,573
A fortnight ago then ?
Just read the reviews of an app that supposed to stop those annoying airpush messages.
72 gave it 5*
72 gave it 1*
There are currently 3 members and 52 guests online.
Members: Oldrocker, Badge, Lee
When shall we three meet again?
When the hurly burly's done
When the battle's lost or won . . . .
We're keeping this place afloat, ma'an. We are the BCG backbone!
I thought I was online
Sorry this is a bit long but it gave me a smile or two . . !
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Sainsbury's.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to
get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women -
she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local
Sainsbury's...
Dear Mrs. Harris,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in
our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to
ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband,
Mr. Harris, are listed below and are "documented by our video
surveillance cameras":
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of
Maltesers.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children
obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
Emergency Medics were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly
humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES
AGAIN!
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the
fitting room was.
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here.'
One of the Staff passed out.
Yours etc ..
Obviously Elite class shopping in Sainburys.
Although I think I've read something like this before, it gave me a well needed laugh.
Sainsburys sell guns !!! ?
Booyah to Bill Will's old skool 1980s BBC Micro pun
Quote: sootyj @ April 4 2013, 7:35 PM BSTBooyah to Bill Will's old skool 1980s BBC Micro pun
Billwill hasn't a clue why he won a Booyah.
Gawd bless 'em. Picture number 3 is my favourite outfit.
I would like to have the opportunity to say to them . . . ' Just what the f**kin' hell do you think you look like? '