British Comedy Guide

General, General Thread Page 2,293

I've actually got a couple of staplers on the go at the moment, and it's a lot to juggle with work and gigging. Thanks for the offer though.

He's just trying to get into your posts count.

Staplers?? Damn autocorrect. Obviously I meant stalkers.

You can never have enough staplers.

I'd staple you any day, Nat Wicks.

Bit much, that.

No offence intended to Nat or any junior ears on the forum.

*Junior eyes.

I'm in an excitable mood this evening as I've just had some splendid news.

Quote: TopBanana @ May 3 2011, 10:34 PM BST

No offence intended to Nat or any junior ears on the forum.

*Junior eyes.

I'm in an excitable mood this evening as I've just had some splendid news.

Come on - tell! You can't just leave it there.

He's passed 520 posts.

Quote: Oldrocker @ May 4 2011, 12:21 AM BST

He's passed 520 posts.

He's after Lester Piggotts record.

Quote: keewik @ May 3 2011, 11:32 PM BST

Come on - tell! You can't just leave it there.

Been offered a new job and I've gone and accepted the bloomin' thing. It means the end of self-employment, but also the beginning of a healthier regular wage.

It means less time on here.....less time writing stuff....but, y'know....life and sh*t.

Is this Twitter account for real?: http://twitter.com/DrPeterThraft

Apparently it is 'sex advice'. I can't work out if it is sleazy or ironic?

E.g. Men, here's a good trick. Scare your partner in the dark and then make passionate love to her. The fear will cause her to orgasm.

Learn to trust one another. Ask to shave your partner's pubic hair into your own design. A circle? Zigzags? Use your imagination.

@nikkibayley Fear has been known to cause women to orgasm. I apologise if I offended you. Dr Peter Thraft

Men, your penis isn't as important to your lady as you think it is.

Men, find a fruity chocolate heart and send her into fruit and nut bliss. Remember, I didn't tell you to melt it and spread it on her!!!

Treat the vagina like a magnificent vase.

Men, ask your partner to go to work without her knickers on. Ring her up at lunchtime and talk about your little secret.

Never insert anything down the eye of the penis. Enjoy the penis exterior.

Men, get ur partner to probe ur anus at the point of ejaculation. The sensation will leave u begging for more - don't be scared of your anus

I think you should go and have a nice cold shower and put all thoughts of Nat Wicks behind you.

Rolling eyes

Shhhhhhh.

Quote: Nat Wicks @ May 5 2011, 12:54 AM BST

Shhhhhhh.

Only trying to help . .

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