You Say Potato

SC 1 - A FARM COTTAGE IN IRELAND - EVENING

MARY IS AT THE STOVE COOKING. SEAN COMES IN FROM A HARD DAY TOILING IN THE FIELDS

SEAN
Right what's for dinner tonight?

MARY:
Spuds.

SEAN:
Ah Jesus! Not spuds again! That's all we ever have. It's bloody spuds every night. I'm sick of bloody spuds. If I see one more spud then I'm gonna turn into a spud.

MARY:
But sure Sean, you always used to love the auld spuds. Remember that night we met at the Super Spud Gala in Wexford? You told me then that you'd never ever want to eat anything except spuds. God knows things aren't easy but I always make sure that the pot of spuds is on the range and ready in time for your dinner.

MARY BECOMES TEARFUL AND STARTS SOBBING

MARY:
You've found something else haven't you? All of a sudden spuds is no good. You've got all hoity-toity. Your father et spuds; and your mother and their fathers and mothers before them.

We all eat spuds in Ireland. It's what we're famous for. Show me the Irishman that doesn't like a spud and I'll show you a weirdo.

SEAN:
Ah but Mary love, I just can't face another spud. I really can't. I'm heaving at the prospect of spuds. Can't we have something else? For God's sake! I'm begging you Mary.

MARY:
What about Kentucky Fried Chicken just for a change then? I could send one of the kids out to get a family sized bucket. Would you like that?

SEAN:
Ah sure maybe I'll just have the spuds after all.

END:

Hehe. This could go on and on. I like it.

Hehe. This could go on and on. I like it.

Yes I agree totally. Very good. Would be great acted out.

I liked it - until the punch line. It was a bit of a safe dig. Maybe he could have chips instead.

I just thought I would add, I have a family sized bucket. I am scrabbling around in it now. *Holds fingers out * Want a bit?

As a huge fan of KFC i despise the punchline ... but the rest is good. Maybe as an anti-punchline you would go with

MARY:
Well, what do you want then.

SEAN:
(THINKING) Erm ... chippy?

I liked it. It worked for me

Muchas gracias amigos

Glad it raised a few smiles. I thought of spuds in another guise but went with my swipe at KFC (could have been anything fast foody though-BK McD's etc)

Cheers

B

Blenks

I like the idea, though the punchline (whilst funny) is a little 'safe', as mentioned above.

As you've mentioned spuds a lot, a repititious line like 'spuddy-spuddy spud spud' would be a good addition somewhere for an extra laugh. And also:

'For Spud's sake, I'm begging you, Mary!'

Dan

Hi Dan

I think that this must be an "Irish" thing as in my head the way I hear Sean saying his last line is in a resigned sort of mechanical sort of wistful way. He's so appalled by the KFC that even the spuds are preferable.

The idea was to write a bit of conversational and inconsequential dialogue that set up an amusing situation and I wanted the ending to be understated and not at all "in yer face"

As some others have suggested, I considered the potato by another name idea, I even had hash browns on the page to begin with, but when I wrote the last line as posted it made me laugh out loud and I suppose that is the test for any of us. Write what makes you laugh and what you want to say and hope that some of the rest come with you.

When I finished this, again it was written in real time without a plan as such, I thought that perhaps that it might be a bit too gentle for some tastes but I'm very happy with the response.

I've posted it on another site and had excellent reviews there too.

Thanks for your thoughts and I do like the spud's sake pun.

B

I liked it too ... further potential could've come from an ending like ...

MARY:
Well, I can do Chateau Briand et Veggie de Lion Frit or Cordero con Esparagosi en Lit para Zuccini or Tandoori Beefeosi a la Croute muis Simple petit pois or (dammit, my command of these languages is a bit rough around the edges!). Would you like any of those?

SEAN:
Uuuugh ... maybe I'll just have the spuds after all.

END:

Good stuff though!!!!.

Thanks Losaaverda. I'll have the Chateau Briand and a botle of cheeky red and sod the spuds. Well maybe a few pomme frites as I'm on a diet.

B