British Comedy Guide

Very useful poems Page 10

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ December 21 2010, 10:18 PM GMT

Duvets are very useful
For keeping you snug and warm
And not showing the wife the TV weather girl
Is giving you the horn.

Erectile function's useful
When a boy's no more a nipper.
And Alfred J, we hear, at home
is known as 'Tentpole Kipper'.

The weather is very useful
All this snow and an earthquake in Cumbria
The Met Ofice are loving it
Airport Hotels having a bonanza

Vince Cable's very useful
His job is very hard
When talking to young ladies though
He should be on his guard

Boris Johnson's useless
And never on his guard.
When he's near young ladies
He's always very hard.

Tracie Bennett's useful
For putting bums on seats.
Don't miss this show. It's great, you know.
One of this season's treats.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hei9HGJFDAw

Your balls are very useful
As a cushion for your cock,
Their size are also variable
When you empty them in a sock

A Henman is very useful
when looking for some filth
He's really rather beautiful
And also quite a dilf

My hubby's cock is useful
or so he'd have it so
but I prefer the man next door
he's gorgeous, wot a beau

A bushbay is useful
She really is complete
Her fanny is enormous
It hangs down to her feet

Anagrams are fulues
I vole them yes it's true.
That's why I like Ross C Words
& Daily C**t Now Do

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ December 22 2010, 10:46 PM GMT

Anagrams are fulues
I vole them yes I do.
That's why I like Ross C Words
& Daily C**t Now Do

A daily c**t is useful
If such a thing you seek.
The seven I know on BCG
Keep me going for a week.

The DC 7 eh?
I wonder if any of them are members of the BCG's Funny Five?

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ December 22 2010, 10:58 PM GMT

The BCG's Funny Five

You're referring to postings, obviously.

Quote: Veronica Vestibule @ December 22 2010, 11:00 PM GMT

You're referring to postings, obviously.

Laughing out loud

Boringness is useless
We all want fun and frolics
That's why my comedy's renowned
For I'm the doggie's bollocks

Share this page