Ok, this may be a bit to much but it is me and mine. Please dont tell me Off.
The very posh Adams Family (not THE Adams family) are having dinner at the table. Starring Mummy, Daddy, 8 year old Chloe, 12 year old Matt and 14 year old Josh.
Mummy
Did you children have a good day at school today.
Chloe
I learned demention
Daddy
You mean dimensions Chloe.
Chloe
No Daddy. Demention
Mummy
Was that in your maths lesson darling.
Chloe
No at playtime
Mat
She means detention. (Choruses) Chloe got told off, Chloe got told off.
Daddy
(Puts his fork down)Was it detention. Were you naughty at school today?
Chloe
It wasnt my fault. It was Amys. She made me do it.
Daddy
What did Amy make you do?
Chloe
Swear. Amy made me swear
Mummy
(Hand over her mouth in shock) What did you say Chloe.
Chloe
Cant tell you Mummy you will give me dimension or send me to my room. Mrs Marshall said I was never ever to mention such a crude rude word ever ever EVER again.
Josh
I Bet she said bollox
Mummy
No! Chloe would not say Bollox, Was it Bollox darling.
Chloe
No Mummy I did not say Bollox.
Daddy.
Good Girl. Was it Bitch. Did you call Mrs Marshall a bitch.
Chloe
No daddy I did not I would never call Mrs Marshall a bitch.
Mummy
She is one though. The way she spoke to me at parents evening. That woman is a first class BITCH
Matt
I bet you said F**k
The whole family gasp and look shocked.
Mummy
It was not F**k was it dear.
Chloe
No mummy I promise I never said f**k.
Josh
I know what you said. you said wanker
Chloe
I did not Josh. Mummy Daddy tell him. I never said wanker. (Chloe folds her arms infront of her and pouts her lip)
Daddy
There there sweetheart. Josh is being an annoying wanker
Matt
Yey (choruses) Josh is a wanker, Josh is a (sing spells it out) W A N K A wanker woo.
Mummy
Alright son, Josh may be a wanker but he is your brother ok. What are you Son. Do you think I dont know what is inside your dirty socks of a morning. You Dirty wanker. Oh and Matt just so you know wanker is not spelt that way. Tell him how it is spelt Chloe
Chloe
W A N K E R
Daddy
Whose my clever little girl. (rubs Chloe's head) Did you say ummmmmmmm (taps the end of his fork on his chin) Bastard
Chloe
No Daddy. I will never say Bastard. Not in a month that has Sundays
They all chuckle.(hoity toity style)
Daddy
The saying is not in a month of Sundays Honey. You are so sweet Chloe. A little angel.
Matt
A swearing, foul mouthed angel.
They laugh again
Mummy
Oh I give up. Tell us exactly what you said Chloe. I promise you neither Daddy nor I will give you dimension I mean detention or send you to bed.
Chloe
Promise.(looks at Daddy)
Daddy
We promise.
Chloe
Ok then. Well what happened was this, Amy kept getting annoyed by Jade. She was sitting next to her see and was pinching her over and over again. Amy was telling tales to me about Jade and that she was pinching her. I told Amy to pinch her back but Jade kept on pinching and Amy kept on telling tales to me. I got so mad in the end and I shouted out SLAPHER.
END
