Quote: Veronica Vestibule @ December 12 2010, 2:13 PM GMTMy opinions are often at odds with those shared by many BCG members and it seems 'trim it substantially, insert more jokes and write it for radio' might sum up the majority view here.
I am not sure anyone has suggested inserting more jokes. Without checking back I think only one person has suggested 'trim it substantially'. It has excellent audio production possibilities and none of the gags are visual.
I suggested trimming. There's very little that wouldn't benefit from rigorous cuts. And that applies to all walks of life. Less is more.
Quote: Timbo @ December 12 2010, 6:38 PM GMTI am not sure anyone has suggested inserting more jokes.
This is what I meant:
Quote: chipolata @ December 11 2010, 12:13 AM GMTnot enough killer lines.
. . . although I'm aware killer lines and jokes aren't necessarily synonymous.
I'm just advising Steve to be careful if tempted to 'improve' it.
I do agree that this is not far off where it needs to be.
Quote: Veronica Vestibule @ December 12 2010, 7:24 PM GMTThis is what I meant: . . . although I'm aware killer lines and jokes aren't necessarily synonymous. I'm just advising Steve to be careful if tempted to 'improve' it.
Sunshine will do what I tell him or face the consequences. 
Quote: Badge @ December 12 2010, 3:42 PM GMTYou don't need to show an infinite number of monkeys - for example, the handful who appear in the sketch could be in a side room as they take their break.
Well, yes, there is that suggestion.
I could visualise this as a classic sketch from an 80s show like the million pound radio show. Monkeys as geezers with a soundtrack of jungle monkeys and type writers.
Wow I can hear it and it's amusing me.
audialise?
You don't know what he sees when he hears things.
I can hear for miles and miles
The pictures are always better on the radio.