British Comedy Guide

The w*****g dead

BIFF AND TINA ARE HIDING IN A POST APOCALYPTIC WAREHOUSE

TINA
They're getting closer, it's all over.

BIFF HAS HIS FACE AT THE SMASHED WINDOW

BIFF
God damn you, you soul less monsters! Why won't you leave us alone!

TINA
Why won't they stop doing that, its filthy

BIFF TURNS HIS FACE IS COATED IN A MAGGOTY ZOMBIE SPUNK.

VO
Sootyj and Rampant Badger films presents..The Wanking Dead!

TINA
Oh Biff will we be safe here?

BIFF TURNS THE WAREHOUSE IS PILED HIGH WITH GROT MAGS

A SIGN HANGS FROM THE CEILING READING "International European ultra hardcore porn storage faccility"

BIFF
I don't think so.

VO
Because this summer evil is coming and then it's cumming!

TINA
Oh hold me Biff, hold me tight.

BIFF HUGS HER IN A TIGHT SEXY MANNER

TINA
Uh not that tight Biff. Maybe a peck on the cheek.

BIFF
Too late.

VO
Sound of Zombie wanking.

BIFF AND TINA ARE DROWN IN A SEA OF ZOMBIE MONKEY JUICE, INCLUDING SEVERAL SEVERED ZOMBIE PENISES

Who are you calling stiffie? SPLURT! Aahh...

Like it. Although I wasn't sure when she said "why won't you stop wanking," who she was talking to.

Changed thanks

Loved it! I'd just suggest changing Tina's second line to something like "Why don't they stop doing...that?" so that you reveal the wanking with "maggoty zombie spunk" on Biff's face rather than with dialogue.

Adjusted thanks Mr Badge

Needs the word "stop", Mr Sootyj

You can't stop the Sootyj!

Like that one too,but do hope you are safely under lock and key during the twilight hours.

As soon as I saw the title I was laughing. Why not get Gav to animate it?

That. Is an excellent idea. I'll happily help on voicing.

F**king A I'd love to see this filmed and I think you'd be ace Nat

I'M IN!

Jesus this is so f**king hilarious. Genius.

Good stuff, the sketch was nice too.

Nice one.

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