British Comedy Guide

Monkey Chuckin Business

TWO MUTHAS DISCUSSING THE INTELLEGENCE LEVELS OF THEIR SONS.

MUM #1:
I bet your Jimmy's doing better at school than my Tom.

MUM # 2:
Dunno bout that. How did your Tom do at playtime?

MUM #1:
He failed! They're going to let him have another go tomorrow.

MUM #2:
That's nice. Givin' the little buggers another chance. Helps a lot.

MUM #1:
Dunno bout that. How did your Jimmy do on the school outing?

MUM #2:
Terrible. He failed in everything, even at chuckin' stuff.

MUM #1:
Strange? My Tom said your Jimmy showed the monkeys a trick!

MUM #2:
Yeah, he did that alright. Little f**ker can't go back to that zoo again!

MUM #1:
My Tom said he got a right tonkin' for helping your Jimmy.

MUM #2:
Yeah, he provided the shit for Jimmy to chuck.

MUM #1:
What about the monkeys and the trick?

MUM #2:
Yeah, well, spose' he was showin initiative.

MUM #1:
What ? Initiative! Your Jimmy? Blimey, he IS more clever than my Tom.

MUM #2:
Got that backwards, ain't ya?

MUM #1:
Why's that?

MUM #2:
Cos' your Tom managed to get back out of the cage AND he didn't get caught
teaching the monkeys to chuck shit at the visitors. That's why.

MUM #1:
Was THAT the trick?

MUM #2:
Nah. My Jimmy showed 'em how get more distance and improve accuracy by
putting stones inside the shit.

MUM #1:
What about the initiative?

MUM #2:
Got that wrong. I said showin' a shit heave

Took me a while to understand the last line.
Liked it though.

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