LIVE SCOTTISH NEWS AT TEN.
Newsreader: And we are being told right now, this is breaking news, that there is even MORE snowfall to come in the next few days. I am being notified right now... that the snowfall could be as high as your HOUSE tonight and by Friday
it will have surpassed the height of the Gherkin building in London.
Now experts are saying that as long as you are to keep on TOP of the snow at all times, you will not be subjected to a slow, crushing death. (As the sheer weight of the snow pushes you against the ground and splats you like a cherry tomato.)
And to continue, the MET office have released several warnings that although the snow may LOOK pretty, it will in fact bring all sorts of unwelcome additions such as the ABOMINABLE SNOWMEN, which we are being told materialise when there are large amounts of snow... (That information brought there from an anonymous source).
The snow is also known to bring large amounts of AIDS so condom's are a MUST, if you're to stay warm this winter.
The MET office are also warning the public in the Birmigham area to stay clear of Thomas, aged 5 and a HALF, he is likely to throw wild and highly dangerous tantrums - because he is autistic and does not like the snow.
We will have further updates on this snow flurries that are hitting all parts of the United Kingdom, but for now we go to a LIVE interview with Scott McCarthy, he's live in Edinburgh. Scott?
Scott: Well I am here now interviewing Kayleigh Smith, who is a florist in downtown Edinburgh.. Kayleigh, what effects will this RELENTLESS snow have on your business as a whole?
Kayleigh: Well, its the Winter? We don't sell an awful lot of flowers in the Winter anyway... I thought this was about the evacuation procedures?
Scott: Oh yes, do excuse me, how will you evacuate all of the flowers from your shop?
Kayleigh: ...Not the flowers? Evacuate the people? The snow is meant to overtake out houses?
CAMERA COMES BACK TO SCOTT WHO IS FACING THE WRONG DIRECTION.
Scott: And how do you intend do get out?
CAMERA ZOOMS OUT AND SCOTT IS REVEALED TALKING TO A PERSON IN A WHEELCHAIR.
SWITCH BACK TO NEWS ROOM.
Newsreader: Dreadfully sorry there, we seem to have lost Scott there.. But here we are with even MORE breaking news: News has reached us that a several hundered people have been rushed to Southampton A&E with a serious condition, known to locals as 'Snow-eye'.
We are live at Southampton General Hospital with Grace Morton. Grace?
Grace: Well even more panic here as I am told 213 people have been rushed in here as sudden snow flurries have caused an outbreak of what is being called 'Snow-eye'. It is where snow actually falls and attacks the facial area.. hold on.. the snow.. its coming ah! -
LIGHT SNOW STARTS TO FALL AND THE AUDIENCE WITNESS A BIT OF SNOW GOING INTO HER EYE AS SHE WRITHES AROUND ON THE FLOOR SCREAMING.