Aliens from outer space

TWO ALIENS ARE TRAVELLING ON A FLYING SAUCER SHAPED CRAFT AND ARE APPROACHING EARTH.

Alien 1: well here we are approaching planet 'earth', I hope I am saying that correctly.

Alien 2: so what's the plan?

Alien 1: well, we're going to pass the atmosphere and then ill have a mooch about and see what's what I think.

THE CRAFT PASSES THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE AND SLOWS DOWN INSTANTANEOUSLY. IT THEN HOVERS ABOVE THE EARTH, STILL MILES ABOVE THE SURFACE.

Alien 1: I wonder how much it is to park here..

Alien 2: I can't see a meter anywhere.

Alien 1: well I need to choose somewhere to park this thing first.

Alien 2: ok I have a few things coming up on the computer. Oh this looks nice and big with plenty of room.. 'Asia'.

Alien 1: no.. no.

Alien 2: ok well how about the opposite then? You could try 'Australia'? Fairly small?

Alien 1: no that won't do..

Alien 2: well how about 'Antarctica'? Nice and cold there, it will cool down our death rays.

Alien 1: no I can't park there we won't take off again.

Alien 2: well here we go, 'Africa'. Nice and warm there?

Alien 1: no.. no.

Alien 2: well then I don't know what else. Do you want to make ourselves well known? We could land im the most populated area of 'China'?

Alien 1: no, they will dismantle our ship and operate on us..

Alien 2: then lets land quietly in 'south america'. Not many people there.

Alien 1: no.. I'll tell you what, we'll go to that place there..

Alien 2: but there's nothing significant about this place..

Alien 1: well I just have a feeling about this place. Something's telling me that they're gonna have high intelligence levels, be able to speak properly, be important life forms of this planet, you know?

Alien 2: so were going to land here?

Alien 1: hold on..

THE ALIEN READS OUT A TEXT MESSAGE THAT HE HAS JUST RECIEVED.
Alien 1: 'hi, me and joan got back safely, just, from planet earth. We decided to stop briefly in America. We found somewhere to park and a human took us into his home. We counted 23 children in his hive - and 23 teeth - and they all stared at us without a word. All he kept saying was 'you wait here for them papers to arrive'. We didn't know who 'them papers' was but we didn't want really want to meet him. Anyway we managed to do a memory wipe and get the hell out of there without any accidents. We left a warning for you in the crops but thought id let you know anyway. - karen'

Alien 2: oh yes there it is.

THEY BOTH SQUINT AT THE PATTERN IN THE CROPS.

Both: 'DONT LAND - VERY RUDE - DIDN'T TAKE OUR COATS'

Alien 1: f**k that. Let's go Disneyland Mars.

I like it.

I like it but I don't understand the 23 teeth bit.

Thanks a lot , and the 23 teeth was meant to be 23 teeth between them - ie 1 tooth each

I really like this idea, Juan. The only thing that bugs me is that crop circles are made by people not aliens, just being picky I know, bearing in mind that it's a comedy sketch, but it did lose me at the end. Still, top drawer stuff.

Hi Juan.

Just a few very basic suggestions:

Quote: Juan of a Kind @ November 26 2010, 12:04 AM GMT

TWO ALIENS ARE TRAVELLING ON A FLYING SAUCER SHAPED CRAFT AND ARE APPROACHING EARTH.

Alien 1: well here we are approaching planet 'earth', I hope I am saying that correctly.

Alien 2: so what's the plan?

Alien 1: well, we're going to pass the atmosphere and then ill have a mooch about and see what's what I think.

THE CRAFT PASSES THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE AND SLOWS DOWN INSTANTANEOUSLY. IT THEN HOVERS ABOVE THE EARTH, STILL MILES ABOVE THE SURFACE.

Alien 1: I wonder how much it is to park here..

Alien 2: I can't see a meter anywhere.

Alien 1: well I need to choose somewhere to park this thing first.

Alien 2: ok I have a few things coming up on the computer. Oh this looks nice and big with plenty of room.. 'Asia'.

Alien 1: no.. no. (You need to give a reason why not)

Alien 2: ok well how about the opposite then? You could try 'Australia'? Fairly small?

Alien 1: no that won't do.. (You need to give a reason why not)

Alien 2: well how about 'Antarctica'? Nice and cold there, it will cool down our death rays.

Alien 1: no I can't park there we won't take off again. (Why can't he park there and why won't they take off again?)

Alien 2: well here we go, 'Africa'. Nice and warm there?

Alien 1: no.. no. (You need to give a reason why not)

Alien 2: well then I don't know what else. Do you want to make ourselves well known? We could land im the most populated area of 'China'?

Alien 1: no, they will dismantle our ship and operate on us..

Alien 2: then lets land quietly in 'south america'. Not many people there.

Alien 1: no.. (You need to give a reason why not) I'll tell you what, we'll go to that place there..

Alien 2: but there's nothing significant about this place..

Alien 1: well I just have a feeling about this place. Something's telling me that they're gonna have high intelligence levels, be able to speak properly, be important life forms of this planet, you know?

Alien 2: so were going to land here?

Alien 1: hold on..

THE ALIEN READS OUT A TEXT MESSAGE THAT HE HAS JUST RECIEVED.
Alien 1: 'hi, me and joan got back safely, just, from planet earth. We decided to stop briefly in America. We found somewhere to park and a human took us into his home. We counted 23 children in his hive - and 23 teeth - and they all stared at us without a word. All he kept saying was 'you wait here for them papers to arrive'. We didn't know who 'them papers' was but we didn't want really want to meet him. Anyway we managed to do a memory wipe and get the hell out of there without any accidents. We left a warning for you in the crops but thought id let you know anyway. - karen'

Alien 2: oh yes there it is.

THEY BOTH SQUINT AT THE PATTERN IN THE CROPS.

Both: 'DONT LAND - VERY RUDE - DIDN'T TAKE OUR COATS'

Alien 1: f**k that. Let's go Disneyland Mars.

View original

Quote: scratchyr @ November 26 2010, 8:22 AM GMT

I really like this idea, Juan. The only thing that bugs me is that crop circles are made by people not aliens, just being picky I know, bearing in mind that it's a comedy sketch, but it did lose me at the end. Still, top drawer stuff.

View original

Some crop circles have been made by people, yes that is known. But some crop patterns are so complicated and accurate that it seems impossible that people could have done them in the time available without an overhead 'view', and without leaving traces as to how they got to & from the site of the patterns.

http://www.cropcircles.net/

Quote: billwill @ November 26 2010, 2:58 PM GMT

Some crop circles have been made by people, yes that is known. But some crop patterns are so complicated and accurate that it seems impossible that people could have done them in the time available without an overhead 'view', and without leaving traces as to how they got to & from the site of the patterns.

http://www.cropcircles.net/

View original

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUB4j0n2UDU

Quote: Juan of a Kind @ November 26 2010, 12:04 AM GMT

TWO ALIENS ARE TRAVELLING ON A FLYING SAUCER AND ARE APPROACHING EARTH.

Alien 1: Here we are approaching planet 'earth', I hope I am saying that correctly.

Alien 2: What's the plan?

Alien 1: We're going to pass the atmosphere and then ill have a mooch about and see what's what I think.

THE CRAFT PASSES THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE AND SLOWS DOWN INSTANTANEOUSLY. IT THEN HOVERS ABOVE THE EARTH, STILL MILES ABOVE THE SURFACE.

Alien 1: I wonder how much it is to park here..

Alien 2: I can't see a meter anywhere. Ok I have a few things coming up on the computer. Oh this looks nice and big with plenty of room.. 'Asia'.

Alien 1: no.. no.. That area has had bad reviews from 'Space-Travel Weekly'.

Alien 2: Well how about the opposite then? You could try 'Australia'? Fairly small?

Alien 1: no that won't do.. I do like to have a decent sized area to play Splargball.

Alien 2: How about 'Antarctica'? Nice and cold there, it will cool down our death rays.

Alien 1: No I can't park there. Our thrusters will freeze over and we'll never take off again.

Alien 2: Here we go, 'Africa'. Nice and warm there?

Alien 1: no.. no.. Lack of H2O for our steam boosters.

Alien 2: Then I don't know what else. Do you want to make ourselves well known? We could land in the most populated area of 'China'?

Alien 1: No, they will dismantle our ship and operate on us.. like what happened to Bob and Joyce last light year.

Alien 2: Then lets land quietly in 'South America'. Not many people there.

Alien 1: No.. I'll tell you what, we'll go to that place there..

Alien 2: But there's nothing significant about this place..

Alien 1: I just have a feeling about this place. Something's telling me that they're gonna have high intelligence levels, be able to speak properly, be important life forms of this planet, you know?

Alien 2: Alright then. Ill prepare the wings for landing..

Alien 1: Hold on..

THE ALIEN READS OUT A TEXT MESSAGE THAT HE HAS JUST RECIEVED.

Alien 1: 'Hi, me and John got back safely, just, from planet Earth. We decided to stop briefly in America. We found somewhere to park and a human took us into his home. We counted 23 children in his hive - with 23 teeth between them - and they all stared at us without a word. The main one had a strange metallic object with two long tubes pointed at me - I feared our death rays would be of no match. All he kept saying was 'you wait here for them papers to arrive'. We didn't know who 'them papers' was but we didn't really want to meet him. Anyway we managed to do a memory wipe and get the hell out of there without any accidents. We left a warning for you in the crops but thought id let you know anyway. - Karen'

Alien 2: Hh yes there it is.

THEY BOTH SQUINT AT THE PATTERN IN THE CROPS.

Both: 'DONT LAND - VERY RUDE - DIDN'T TAKE OUR COATS'

Alien 1: F**k that. Let's go Disneyland Mars.

View original

Thanks for the feedback Veronica and everyone else.

I always thought that crop circles were made by aliens, but obviously seeing as theres no such thing (hence the irony in this sketch), it must have been done by humans?

I tried to put across the point that there is no logic for aliens to land in these parts because its not the most populated or least populated and its not the biggest, smallest, hottest or coldest and so made up what could have happened for them to land in these obscure areas of America.

Much better!

Yeah, better with Veronica's points taken into account.

Quote: scratchyr @ November 26 2010, 3:00 PM GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUB4j0n2UDU

View original

OK, so apply the balony test to your statement that (All) "crop circles are made by people not aliens" and explain how they did each one; or disprove every photo.

Quote: billwill @ November 26 2010, 3:42 PM GMT

OK, so apply the balony test to your statement that (All) "crop circles are made by people not aliens" and explain how they did each one; or disprove every photo.

View original

But why would aliens mess about with crops in the first place?

Thanks guys.. Does anyone know how you could show people your sketches who may be interested in them? I don't mean this one particularly.

Quote: billwill @ November 26 2010, 3:42 PM GMT

OK, so apply the balony test to your statement that (All) "crop circles are made by people not aliens" and explain how they did each one; or disprove every photo.

View original

Could have been the wind?
..or a sedated sheep that had been roaming around wildly in the night unknowingly creating all sorts of crazy patterns

Quote: billwill @ November 26 2010, 3:42 PM GMT

OK, so apply the balony test to your statement that (All) "crop circles are made by people not aliens" and explain how they did each one; or disprove every photo.

View original

The Balony test isn't meant to "prove" that they are made by people just not by aliens. There is evidence that they are made by people such as people who make them saying we make them and this is how we do it.

I don't have to disprove every photo, not all of which may be genuine, you have to prove that they are made by aliens, and, since there is no evidence for aliens visiting this planet, then you have to get to that first. Anyways this is a thread about Juan's (fine) sketch not crop circles, and I'm sure I am as unlikely to change your mind as you are mine, so you know, I think people do them, you can't imagine how that would be done so you think it's aliens. I don't really mind enough, was just saying.

and this

Quote: chipolata @ November 26 2010, 3:48 PM GMT

But why would aliens mess about with crops in the first place?

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