British Comedy Guide

Secret billionaires

2 POSH AMERICAN TYPES (PTs) ARE ENJOYING COCKTAILS WHILST WEARING DJS IN A HUGELY POSH HOTEL IN A TROPICAL RESORT.

PT1
So how's the estate in Hawaii Masters?

PT2
Terrible, just terrible. I thought hiring 2 fags would be the ticket. But the jaccuzi was jammed with bikini tops, the Ferrari's got a 1000,000 miles on the clock and the whole estate is stained with cum.

PT1
Are you sure they were queer?

PT2
They both have moustaches, the squeaky little one's camp as Christmas and the big Mary wears Hawaiian shirts. Popadoplous they're queer as a 5 bob note.
How's that laundrette of yours going?

PT1
I made 3 billion pounds a year. I've found the only council in London where nobody owns a f**king washing machine. I'm having Ian Beale killed next week, with the cafe I'll be the next Bill Gates.

A 3RD POSH TYPE TURNS UP AND DROPS IN HIS CHAIR HE PUTS A SPEAKER PHONE ON THE TABLE

PT1
Pimping going badly Charley?

SPEAKER PHONE GOES
Hey Charlie we found the lost diamonds, broke up a KGB spy ring and now we're off to the roller disco!

CHARLIE
Just suck some f**king cock already you stupid bitches!

Another golden oldie bump

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