Short Sketch.

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA THE LION THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE.

MR TUMNUS: Lucy! My dear, do come in.

LUCY: Thank you, but can I ask who you are?

MR TUMNUS: I am Mr Tumnus, I have goat legs and I just want to be your friend. I don't want anything else. Just friendship - I make love with my hoof you see... >

LUCY: Excuse me?

MR TUMNUS: Nothing, my dear, lets have a cup of tea shall we?

LUCY: Okay..

MR TUMNUS: Let's use the good crockery for such a nice occasion. Will you get the teacups for me? They're just in that cabinet over there..

LUCY GINGERLY MAKES HER WAY OVER TO THE CABINET AND HAS HER BACK TO MR TUMNUS

MR TUMNUS: That's it just over there...

MR TUMNUS BEGINS TO STAND ON HIS HIND LEGS

LUCY: Just here?

MR TUMNUS: Just there my love - bottom shelf.

CAMERA PANS OUT TO VIEW OF THE COTTAGE AND A PIERCING SCREAM IS HEARD THAT ECHOES THROUGHOUT THE LAND.

Liked it, although I might have got a bit confused with 'bottom shelf' and 'top shelf' type stuff. Maybe remove that confusion and you've got a top sketch on your hands.

Where do you see this sketch being performed? What medium?

Erm well the idea was bottom shelf would make her bend over...

And Im not really sure its just an idea I had! Maybe cartoon? Couldnt really be done on stage I don't think.

Thanks for the feedback guys appreciate it

This is yet another deliberately poorly written wind up sketch.

The thing I don't get at all is the responses these sketches.

Is it meant to be ironic.

Either way you win I'm off, you win.

See you back again in a while.

If you're just starting trying to write sketches then having an idea of the medium you want to use can be very useful.

Having said that I never really took much notice of that myself.
But I wish I had.

Its not a wind up sketch? Its serious? :/

And yes I have never really thought of the medium until now!

Quote: Juan of a Kind @ November 19 2010, 11:14 PM GMT

Its not a wind up sketch? Its serious? :/

And yes I have never really thought of the medium until now!

View original

Don't think medium Juan you will never get anywhere. Think large.

Not if people think im writing it poorly deliberately!!

I think there maybe a suspicion that you aren't quite what you seem.
IE a Troll pretending to be a teenager writing.

Don't take it to heart, because the suspicion wouldn't be there if the comedy wasn't quite good.

To be honest I can't be sure myself, which is a shame.
But there is definitely something there Juan. You've got a good comedy mind

Basically there has been at least one person trolling using many different names and it's lead to a bit of mistrust. Which is a shame.

Im 17 lol how can I prove it??

If people suspect anything please raise it with a mod. In the mean time Juan deserves an un-biased critique, so if you're not helping to make this a better sketch, bugger off to general.

Yes, please stop bringing it up in Juan's crit-threads. Take it up with one of us mods or outside like a man or woman, not sexist me.

Sorry Leevil

I just wanted to help.

This post is off kilter