British Comedy Guide

Can you write news-style topical satire?

If so, I want to hear from you.

I run NewsThump.com - formerly NewsArse.com - and I'm looking to add one or two writers to the core team that currently writes 80% of the site.

The site aims to parody mainstream news reporting, with a pretty obvious style to the way we do things - have a look at a couple of stories and I'm sure it will become very clear.

What I'm after:
Someone (maybe a few people) who can contribute two or three good stories a week. 250-300 words, highly topical, and most obvious of all, funny. We have no political affiliation, and everyone is fair game as far as we're concerned. If it's in the news, and you can think of a unique funny angle, we'll almost certainly publish it.

Some recent examples include:

Severe weather in Cornwall causing disruption to royal wedding coverage Al Qaeda claim responsibility for devastating Comprehensive Spending Review The Apprentice series six in chaos as all contestants join RMT Union

What YOU get out of this:
Credit for your article, exposure to hundreds of thousands of readers each month, and perhaps most importantly of all, a 70% cut of any advertising revenue your news story creates (after website costs and image licensing are paid for). Ultimately we want to pay a fixed freelance rate to our writers, but we need to have a few months running this payment model to find out what that figure should be. Hopefully this will ensure that the figure is a) attractive enough to bring in good quality writers, and b) accurate enough that we don't lose money offering it.

What you earn is highly dependent on how popular your article is, and how good the advertisers are at the time your article is published. I recognise you can only control one of those, but right now, them's the breaks I'm afraid.

You're not going to get rich doing this, but a couple of good stories a week should pay for a decent night down the pub at the end of the month. But bear in mind, the site is growing, and we're attracting more and more advertisers, so over time the writers will earn more. We're also dipping our toes in audio and video, and have interest from a couple of production companies about using our content, so there are obviously longer term opportunities for anyone involved.

If you're interested, either PM me on here, or drop me your details on the site's contact page (ref BSG, please), and I'll give you a little more information and some style guidelines. Please only get in touch if you feel you can contribute at least a couple of stories a week, as we already have plenty of people submitting one article a fortnight!

I very much look forward to hearing from you!

Presumably if we don't get on Newsrevue or the other performance shows then we'll send stuff your way.

Quote: Chappers @ November 18 2010, 9:16 PM GMT

Presumably if we don't get on Newsrevue or the other performance shows then we'll send stuff your way.

You'd certainly be welcome to send it in Chappers, but anything written as a sketch for Newsrevue would stand very little chance of being used by us.

Firstly, because it would need a lot of editing to put it into 'house style' - and secondly because we tend to cover stories on the day they happen. We rarely mock something that occurred more than 24 hours ago, so if your material has been rejected by Newsrevue, the chances are it's already a few days old.

However, never say never. I just wanted to set your expectations properly.

You've got my email adress so drop me a line.

Quote: Smithy @ November 18 2010, 9:10 PM GMT

If so, I want to hear from you.

You're not going to get rich doing this,!

:D

Ah, perhaps I should have qualified my statement to give it a little context.

If your current role involves making trainers in South-East China, then this will almost certainly make you rich.

Quote: Smithy @ November 18 2010, 9:25 PM GMT

You'd certainly be welcome to send it in Chappers, but anything written as a sketch for Newsrevue would stand very little chance of being used by us.

Firstly, because it would need a lot of editing to put it into 'house style' - and secondly because we tend to cover stories on the day they happen. We rarely mock something that occurred more than 24 hours ago, so if your material has been rejected by Newsrevue, the chances are it's already a few days old.

However, never say never. I just wanted to set your expectations properly.

So you're filming them everyday? That's some going. Also they'll be replaced daily too then.

No filming chappers click on the link!

Smithy,
I am new to Comedy writing and would love to have a go. I have written some sketches,songs etc which I will send to you if you want
cheers Liam
PS my email is LCampbell@doosanbabcock.com

Are you still looking?
If you are I can knock you up an example article.

Has anyone had a go at this or know anything about it?

"Rebekah Brooks is Keyser Söze"

I'm sure I used this one on the "say something unfounded about the previous poster" thread...

(Psst. Mine was funnier.)

Has anyone ever bumped a 5 and a half year-old thread before? Well, here I am doing just that.

NewsThump has grown quite a bit since I first posted here looking for new contributing writers, and though the remit of the site remains the same, the volume of articles we publish, and the number of people who read them are both quite a bit bigger. The writing team has also grown to around eight regulars now, and another half a dozen who write once or twice a month.

If you're still interested in contributing, I'd still love to hear from you, as we're always looking for new comedy writers - though I must warn you that the number of submissions we currently get means your ideas must be of a pretty good standard already. I'm looking for quality, not quantity.

So what's in it for you? Well, the short answer is you get paid 60% of the profit on anything you write. This varies from barely enough to buy yourself a coke at lunchtime, up to enough to buy a flight to the States. We've had a few stories in the last 12 months where the authors earned over £400 for just one article. These are the stories that go viral and get seen by hundreds of thousands of people. Obviously there are also plenty that earn very little indeed. The better stories earn the most, we think that's pretty fair.

So, if you're interested, you can submit your ideas at http://newsthump.com/writing-for-newsthump/ though I'm also happy to answer any questions you might have here...

Hi Smithy,

Good standard of articles.

I have just submitted a piece, that'll teach you to ask...

Thanks Playfull, can I ask that you mention this forum in any submission? I just want to be able to spot those that come from people here, rather than general submissions. Thanks!

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