DAVID CAMERON IS TALKING TO PC IVOR TRUNCHEON
DAVID
Did you chaps catch any of those chaps who wrecked our offices?
PC
Oh yes sir. We caught some right horrible little scrotes.
DAVID
Lefties, socialist workers, Labour MPs no doubt.
PC
Worse sir. We caught this gangmaster trying to force poor vulnerable people to work for nothing. Very quiet fellow, quiet and bald,
DAVID
You dimwit that's Ian Duncan Smith!
PC
Then sir we caught this vandal. Planning on destroying libraries, schools and hospitals across the country.
DAVID
Oh that's just George Osbourne upto his hijinks.
PC
That's not the worst of it. We found this poor little chap in a broom cupboard, aparently some filthy perv had made some big promises to him and then made him commit disgusting acts.
DAVID
What the hell are you talking about?
NICK CLEGG WALKS ON
NICK
That's him officer!
DAVID RUNS OFF,