Quote: Reg N @ November 21 2010, 7:59 PM GMTHang on, I haven't posted mine yet.
I thought it said closed on the 21st!!!!
Skit Comp 14-21.11.10 Page 2
Yeah, closes at midnight tonight, I'm still writing my entry, but keep getting distracted by x-factor. 
GODS MUM:
You've been very quiet God, are you ok up here?
GOD:
I'm fine Mum Just go away.
GODS MUM:
You haven't been creating again have you.
GOD:
Look I've told you I don't do that sort of thing. For crying out loud Mum can't I have any privacy.
GODS MUM:
Look Son you're getting to that age now where you might be getting a bit curious about your powers so we understand if you want to play around a bit.
But if you keep creating like this then it'll turn you omnipresent.
GOD:
How many times do I have to say this Mum, I do not touch my powers.
GODS MUM:
So what's that planet doing there? Just another one of your mysterious ways I'll bet.
GOD:
I dunno It's probably Ralphs.
GODS MUM:
Don't start blaming your brother, I can always tell when you're lying.
GOD:
Honestly Mum I'm not lying? Do you think I just made a planet for fun so that I can create a load of beings in my image and mess around with them for a few thousand years?
GODS MUM:
So why did you just create light?
GOD:
I Didn't!
GODS MUM:
Well It was pretty dark a minute ago, and now it's not! That's all I'm saying.
GOD:
Ok so I created a bit of light, and maybe a little planet. There's nothing wrong with that is there?
GODS MUM:
This'll only end in tears you know that. You'll only get bored & leave them to their own devices.
GOD:
No I won't! I promise.
GODS MUM:
Yes you will! I know you. You'll get all vengeful & then you'll get bored.
GOD:
No Seriously I'll look after them.. please let me keep them Mum.
GODS MUM:
(SIGH) I wish you were more like Ralph, the only thing I ever catch him doing is Wanking.
A young couple (Kev and Sharon) are in bed.
Sharon
Did you put the cat out
Kev
Yes
Sounds of a cat meowing outside the bedroom door.
Sharon looks at Kev and raises her eyebrows.
Kev
Ok, ok.
He gets up and goes out of the bedroom. Sounds of feet on stairs, a door opening and a cat yowls
Returns to bed
Sharon
Did you kick her?
Kev
No.
He nuzzles Sharon's shoulder
Sharon
I've got a headache
Kev lies on his back
Kev
I think I may get made redundant at work
Sharon
Oh no. Why?
Kev
Just the cutbacks, you know. They are laying people off.
Sharon cuddles him
Sharon
Don't worry Kev. It'll be all right.
Kev
I'm really worried. If only there was something to take my mind off it.
Sharon moves her hand
Kev
That'll do it.
Sharon
How many girls did you have sex with before we met?
Kev
Only one.
Sharon
Ah.
Kev
But you were the best of all.
Sharon moves her hand again
Kev
Ow! Oops.
INT: KITCHEN. AN OVERWEIGHT WOMAN (SARAH) IS LOOKING AT AN EMPTY SALAD BOWL.
SARAH: It's not you, it's me. I need more, and you're not giving me enough.
SARAH PICKS UP A LETTUCE AND THROWS IT IN THE BIN. SHE TAKES A KNIFE TO SOME TOMATOES, CHOPPING FURIOUSLY THEN LICKS THE KNIFE.
SARAH: I used to love your plump juiciness, but I can't lie to myself anymore, we've grown apart.
SARAH THROWS THE CHOPPED -UP TOMATOES IN THE BIN.
SARAH: I'm sorry, but we're over.....
SARAH CARESSES A CUCUMBER LOVINGLY, AND THEN THROWS IT IN THE BIN.
SARAH: There's someone new, who understands my needs ...
SARAH PULLS OUT A LARGE SLAB OF MEAT, AND POUNDS IT WITH A VIBRATOR.
SARAH: Mhhhh. Meat!
EXT. COURTROOM.
COURT OFFICIAL: (holding bible)
Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?
CAMERA PAN TO PINOCCHIO:
Yes, I'm as honest as the day is long, your Honour. There'll be no porkies from me (PAUSE) Damn, my nose has started growing again, I'm cursed with this bloody affliction... Why couldn't it have been my penis instead?
Loved Sunshine's, but my vote is for Ishy.
Stephen Sunshine for me; a great skit with a sublime ending.
The sunshines on Sunshine's. Hafta vote for his. 'Wanking's' such a good 'pay off.
Enjoyed all of them but I'm going for Don P Musey.
Michael set a brilliant standard but just pipped by ISHY
Mr Sunshine
Tricky decision this week. However, I'll go for Reg.
I liked Ishy and Don P Musey, but my vote goes to Steve Sunshine. God's Mum!!? Marvellous.
I'm gonna go for Otterfox.