hey,
I entered a sketch writing competition yesterday at very late notice, it was a 5 minute sketch required with the topic 'that powerpoint presentation did not go well', anyway this effort didn't go very well either as I only had a couple of hours to create the sketch before the deadline, anyway, I don't think the following work is particularly good but I thought I'd post something for you guys to read for once, and see how much it's slagged off, I'm not too worried as I feel no pain. Peace out.
- the sketch had to be in set in boardroom/office and have 7 characters max
The Weekly PowerPoint Presentation
SCENE 1 INT. /MEETING ROOM
A Man dressed in a suit enters the room smiling. A group of 7 people, 4 men, and 3 women, all wearing smart business wear/suits, are all seated in the room and facing the overhead projector. The man, who is the manager stands in front of the group and begins his PowerPoint presentation.
Manager:
Ok everyone's here, very good, let's get started, now today we're going to talk about a topic very close to the heart of a successful business.
Manager flicks to first PowerPoint slide which says 'Globalisation'
Manager:
Globalisation
Manager flicks to second slide which says 'what is globalisation?'
Manager:
The question is, what is globalisation?
Keith:
It is growth to a global or worldwide scale
Manager:
No. Now what if I was to show you this,
Manager flicks to next slide, which is a cartoon drawn picture of two dogs mating
Manager:
What do you think this symbolises? Anybody?
Andy raises his hand
Manager:
Andy.
Andy:
Globalisation?
Manager:
Precisely Andy, good man, now moving on......
Mary:
Sorry, I don't quite understand, how does that picture symbolise Globalisation?
Manager:
Andy why don't you explain to the class
Andy:
Well it's emm, two dogs which look to be from different parts of the world, and they appear to be mating, emm, in an attempt to produce a more globalised breed.
Manager:
Who said anything about mating? I think you should leave.
Andy leaves embarrassed
Manager:
They're two cute dogs in love. Globalisation can only exist with love
Manager flicks to slides saying 'Love'
Manager:
Which leads to the question
Manager, flicks to slide saying 'What is Love?'
Manager:
What is love?
Keith:
Any object of warm affection or devotion
Manager:
Annoyed
No Keith, I don't grab a dictionary when in search of the definition of love!
Points to Karen
Manager:
Me and Karen were once madly in love
Karen:
I don't recall ever saying I loved you.
Manager:
Speechless and upset for a moment, then resumes
When I want answers to love there's only one man to listen to...
Manager flicks to a slide saying 'Haddaway'.
Manager:
Haddaway
Rachel:
Who's Haddaway?
Keith:
He's a British politician.
Manager:
Angry, points to Keith
Right get out.
Keith Leaves
Haddaway, as anyone with half a brain would know, once asked himself during a very difficult and unsuccessful time in his life, 'what is love?', and his answer was
3 lines appear and a new slide in point form one at a time, the first point says 'Baby don't hurt me',
Baby don't hurt me
Manager flicks on the second point which says 'Don't hurt me'
Don't hurt me
Manager flicks to the third point which says 'No more'
No more. Joey, what do you think he meant by this.
Joey:
Emm, Globalisation.
Manager:
Exactly Toby, and there you have it.
Manager flicks to next slide which is a circle chain diagram. The diagram has the word 'Globalisation' at the top (in 12 o'clock position), shows arrow moving anti-clockwise to the word 'Dogs' (in 9 o'clock position), shows arrow moving anti-clockwise to the word 'Love' (in 6 o'clock position) and shows an arrow moving anti-clockwise to the word 'Haddaway' (in 3 o'clock position) and a final arrow moves anti-clockwise back to the word 'Globalisation'
They all help the world spin on its axis.
Manager flicks through 4 picture slides, the first is a picture of the globe, with the word 'Globalisation', the second picture is of 2 dogs running through the park with the word 'Dogs', the third picture is of a 50 year old couple kissing each other in the local park, with the word 'Love', and the last picture slide is of Haddaway, with the work 'Haddaway', and then the same picture of the globe appears again with the word 'Globalisation'.
George:
Hold on, go back a few slides.
Manager flicks back to 'Love' picture slide of old couple
George:
Stop. Where was that taken?
Manager:
Well in the local park, down by Lakeside hill,
George Stands, very angry.
George:
That's my wife!, who the hell's that guy?
Manager:
Listen just sit back down, you can sort out you're marriage after.
Manager flicks to another slide which says 'Globalisation - Good or Bad?'
Manager:
Now is globalisation good or bad? Well it is a simple one or the other answer, and of course the answer is good.
Answer pops up on slide next saying: 'Good'
Manager:
It has no bad effects and this has been confirmed.
Then appears the words 'No Bad Effects' on slide. Then the word 'Confirmed', underlined appears on slide
Toby looks confused.
Manager flicks to new slide which says 'How can we increase globalisation?',
Manager:
How can we increase globalisation?
The same slide then details in point form the following answers on at a time: 'Try and use the word at least once in all conversations',
Manager:
Try and use the word at least once in all conversations.
Next point on slides which appears says 'Gradually avoid using other words in general,
Manager:
Gradually avoid using other words in general
Mary looks confused
Next point on slide which appears says 'Spend less time with family and more time on the internet'.
Manager:
And of course, spend less time with family and more time on the internet.
Flicks to next slide which says 'People who find it difficult to increase globalisation:'
Manager:
People who find it difficult to increase globalisation
The first point which appears says 'Criminals'
Manager:
Criminals
The second point which appears says 'many deep vein thrombosis patients'.
Manager:
And unfortunately, many deep vain thrombosis patients.
Karen rolls her eyes.
George:
I'm getting out of here, you're an idiot.
Manager:
Hold on just a few more slides to get through until our last slide, emm what do we have next....
Manager flicks to picture slide of manager, who is in the middle of same 50 year old couple that were shown earlier, this time manager is seated in the middle of them on a park bench looking very happy.
Manager looks embarrassed.
Manager flicks to next picture slide, which shows manager having a laugh, sharing a joke with the same couple standing up in park.
Manager flicks to next picture slide, which shows manager having a laugh again with same couple in the park, this time manager is wrestling with the man of the couple and has him in a head lock, the lady is laughing.
Manager flicks to next slide which shows the manager giving the man of the couple a sincere hand shake in the park.
Flick to next slide which just says 'The End'.
Manager:
Any Questions?
Everyone walks out, Everyone looks very annoyed leaving.
Manager:
See you all again next friday.