British Comedy Guide

BT

DAY INT

MOTHER AND SMALL CHILD ARE IN THE LIVING ROOM
MOTHER IS SAT ON THE COUCH WATCHING TV
CHILD IS LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW

CHILD
Mummy, there are some strange men in the back garden
they have bright green jackets on and are looking about

MOTHER
don't make things up

CHILD
They are mummy, they are looking at me.
They climbed over the wall too.

MOTHER GOES TO THE WINDOW BUT HIDES BEHIND
THE CURTAINS TO TAKE A PEEK.
SHE MUST NOT BE ABLE TO SEE THEM PROPERLY AS
SHE HAS TO STICK HER HEAD TENTATIVELY
FURTHER ROUND THE CURTAIN TO SEE.
SHE REALISES SHE WILL SOON BE IN FULL VIEW.

SHE SEE'S THE TELEPHONE ON THE WINDOW-SILL AND PICKS IT UP
NOW SHE HAS A GOOD EXCUSE TO BE IN FULL VIEW-
SHE PRETENDS TO BE TALKING ON THE TELEPHONE

MOTHER (on telephone)
So, I said to her.........and she said to me (imaginary conversation)

MOTHER THEN BEGINS TO LOOK ALARMED. SHE STEPS BACK FROM THE WINDOW
WE SEE A HAND COME TO THE WINDOW FROM OUTSIDE IN THE SHAPE OF A FIST.
THE HAND HOVERS EERILY AT THE WINDOW FOR A MOMENT - THEN KNOCKS ON THE WINDOW

MOTHER
Hold on a minute Dorothy, there is someone knocking at the window

SHE OPENS THE WINDOW

MALE VOICE (OS)
Excuse me madam, but we are from British Telecom.
We are searching for a major cable fault in the area.
All the telephones are are down for miles.
I see you are using yours - is your telephone working ok?

MOTHER
(BEAT) No.

END

It works fine, but I think I've seen the same thing once or twice before.
In the first episode of the IT crowd I think there's something similar.

Dittoed, + this sketch was/is always a bit predictable.

Thank you. It was straight from my head but who knows where these ideas originate from. :)

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