Hello All
Cartoon I recently made: (OK, link works now) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ob21_rAmmsM . Any comments on whether it's funny, the voices, the look, the animation, the music, the editing, anything else would be super. This isn't the final version so want to fix things depending on what people say.
I haven't added the sound effects yet and I want to add more body and head movement. Wanted to get opinions 1st.
Cheers in advance to anyone who comments.
Best wishes
Yac
Hey this is top bollox though maybe a stronger punch.
Love the way you don't explain how she's there despite being dead.
And kudos for not putting it straight in showcase.
Hi mate it's not bad at all.
Why do her iris' still appear when blinking?
It was pretty funny, decent enough payoff.
Great animation, lip syncing and candle effects.
I think it needs to be a little bit snappier and maybe a few cutaways or different camera angles. Can you play the music all the way though it? Just think it would fill the piece out a bit more.
The idea is good, and some of the lines work well. I just think the pace is a bit slow, especially for YouTube.
Otherwise, great work.
Cheers Guys
Sootyj - You might be right about the punch at the end. Not sure what to do instead though. I might just have to build it up more with a sound effect (errrrrr, maybe).
Gavin - Thanks for pointing out the 'iris' issue. They were reflections of light on her eyes (I forgot to erase them while she was in mid-blink). Will fix.
Leevil - Anything specific I could do to make it snappier (I could speed the whole video up or would that be silly)? Not sure about the music playing all the time (if anyone else has any thoughts on the music and/or snappiness and agrees/disagrees with Leevil please let me know). Think you're right about adding more cutaways and camera angles. Will add more, but probably not that many more (just because everything in animation takes sooooooo long to do).
If anyone has more comments, compliments, insults regarding the writing, acting, sound and look of the piece, then please get in touch. Also any agreements or disagreements with what's been said already would be most welcome.
Thank you
Yacob
In terms of the quality of the animation and voice performances this struck me as a step up; very polished. Decent script too, quite lean.The punch was fine, if slightly telegraphed.