THE JOYOUS RETURN OF HENRY GIBBONS.
INT- CHAT SHOW. WE JOIN CHAT SHOW HOST LARRY WALLER.
LARRY:
....And that was Peter Swift and his face of confusion! (becoming serious) Now as you all know by now Henry Gibbons the renowned scientist was found alive and well today half a year after he was kidnapped from his home.
Where was he? What happened? Who were his captors? We hope to find the answers to all those questions right now. Ladies and Gentlemen will you please give it up for the very much alive Henry Gibbons!!
APPLAUSE. LARRY GIVES HENRY A WARM HANDSHAKE AND THEY SIT DOWN.
LARRY:
Welcome, welcome.
HENRY:
Thank you.
LARRY:
..So many questions. Henry, where have you been, where were you kept?
HENRY:
It was roughly foreign. It was a place that looked foreign, the captors sounded foreign and they were speaking some language, I think it was foreign.
Within those foreign environs they kept me in a large kennel with lawnmowers, tools, that sort of thing.
LARRY:
A shed I suppose.
HENRY:
(Slightly put out) Well if you want to get technical about it I suppose you could say that, yes.
LARRY:
How long were you kept in this shed?
HENRY:
Six of their months, which would be about oooh lets see... 5 and a half to 6 of our months also.
LARRY:
So what kind of contact did they have with you? Did they feed you?
HENRY:
Yes. They would bring me food and water twice a day but they used to also call in every 3 hours with a frog.
LARRY:
With a frog?
HENRY:
Yes. They would bring in a shoebox, open the lid, show me the frog, close the box again and leave.
LARRY:
(CONFUSED) And do you know what their reasoning was for this?
HENRY:
(voice rises in pitch as he explains) My reasoning was that they must have felt that I had a great affection for frogs and they wanted to let me know that frogs were still thriving so that I wouldn't be worrying about them and so that I wouldn't fret under their captivity.
LARRY:
Well a lot of people were worrying and fretting about you. Most people thought you were dead!
HENRY:
So did I!..... I got the papers too. The Sun had it, so did The Mirror but it wasn't until I read it in the broadsheets that I really sat up and took notice.
LARRY:
I think the main question on everyone's lips is what did they want with you. There was no ransom demands, no contact with the police or the government. It really seems to be shrouded in mystery. Did you ever see your captors?
HENRY:
Only their faces.... You see they were pretty much covered in clothes other than that. As for your 1st question. They said they wanted me to either develop a transporting device or split, split am....split....
LARRY:
...The atom?
HENRY:
....My head open. I weighed up the pros and cons and decided to go with option A. the transporter. I knew they either wanted some sort of goods carrier or the teleportation device used in Star Trek but I thought I'd look stupid if I asked you see so I set to work on the Star Trek one.
LARRY:
And would you have the ability to build a transporter just like that?
HENRY:
Oh yes. You can pretty much build anything once you have arms. You have arms don't you? (HE CHECKS) Yes you do, you could build it aswell.
LARRY:
So now we come to the exciting bit. How did you escape?
HENRY: Ha ha hmm... That's the magical part. I had to use this(points to head).
LARRY:
Your hair?
HENRY:
No, my brain. The brain in my head that belongs to me.
(Smugly) Anyway so I got to work building the transporter. About 2 months in I needed to find a metal sheet as a conductor to control the flow. I had noticed the bonnet of a car lying outside the window but with no way of getting to it.
Unbeknownst to them though I had been secretly burrowing a hole under the shed which I would cover with the transporter. Finally the hole was just about big enough. I waited until the cover of darkness, cautiously checked my surroundings and crawled out.
I got the metal sheet, brought it back into the shed, used it to conduct the device, 4 months later it was completed. I stepped in and beamed myself to freedom!(PROUD).
LARRY:
Wow! What a story. That is truly fascinating. You are an inspiration to us all. Just one thing. When you crawled out to get the metal sheet, why didn't you just make a break for it? Why did you go back into the shed?
HENRY'S PROUD LOOK FADES AS REALISATION HITS.HE NOW LOOKS SERIOUSLY MIFFED.
LARRY:
Nevertheless. What an inspiring story. Ladies and Gentlemen Henry Gibbons.
LARRY PUTS HIS HAND UP FOR A HIGH FIVE. HENRY 'ACCIDENTLY' MISSES AND PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE. LARRY FALLS TO THE GROUND AND AS PEOPLE CROWD AROUND HENRY DISCREETLY KICKS HIM AND MELDS BACK INTO THE CROWD.
END.
