This sitcom is about a bunch of guys from college and one guy, Connor who isn't but hangs around with them occassionaly. Most of the scenes will all take place within the college class but this episode they are going to a christian retreat. What do you think of the opening scene?
1. EXT Front of Connor’s House
David knocks on Connor’s door and Connor grabs his bag and walks out the door as the walk down the street
David
Hungover?
Connor
Is David Walliams gay? You?
David
Possibly and hell yeah. Fantastic night how better to celebrate the fact I was born than to try and kill myself with alcoholic beverages
Connor
Did you pull?
David
I was close, so close then I kind of blew it by telling her she had a fat head. I don’t know why I said it…pretty weird, I think she did and I tried to think it and it came out as speech, and then I tried to fix it by complimenting her so I said you have a nice nose. Far too much drink. Did you?
Connor
Nah
David
Good times
Connor
Yeah may have had a bit too much though, I can’t remember an awful lot. Did I do anything…you know, embarrassing?
David
No No, not at all (turns away and signals with his face that was not the case)
Connor
So you got any plans for your actual birthday then? Tomorrow isn’t it?
David
Hmm, not really probably just go out again tomorrow night if you fancy it? Though I feel like hell so maybe not
Connor
Right…here’s the thing. You know the way I’m infatuated with Rachel?
David
Yep
Connor
I know how I can get to her
David
You mean speak to her?
Connor
Basically yeah, she is going away on one of those Christian retreats and its for the weekend so I was wondering…
David
Not a chance
Connor
You don’t know what it is yet
David
I’m not spending my birthday listening to how “God” (makes speech marks with his fingers) and Jesus were like the A-team and killied giants with swords attached to their heads by forgiving their sins.
Connor
Please Dave, it’ll be a laugh. Oh and Hannah will be there, you cannot resist her surely you two talked few weeks back
David
We didn’t talk we just…chatted
Connor
Same thing. Please
David
No, it’s unfair on you to ask me
Connor
It’s unfair of you to reject your best friend. You know I’d do anything for you, you’re my brother…I love you
David
Eurgh, your desperate
Connor
Puppy dog eyes? (Connor crouch’s down and looks up desperate)
David
You’re an idiot…go on then
Connor
(celebrates my jumping and fisting the air) Yes!
David
I’m away to college
Connor
I will see you later then, as we are getting the bus to Hunnyville.
David
(cringes) whatever
2 INT College Class
David, Simon, Jay and Steven are in the foreground with their only other two classmates and their only female class mates, Nikki and George.
David
Ah…Thursday another tough week over (sarcastically)
Simon
(laughs) yeah so much better than school
David
Is it? Is it really? I prefer school ten fold, at least in school you don’t learn about total crap and have a mute teacher
Simon
McCauley isn’t that bad
David
Awful teacher, I am basically teaching myself
Steven
So what, get over it!
David
Why should I get over it, he is getting paid to do nothing…he is basically Paris Hilton
Steven
You think your so much better than everyone don’t you with your similes and your shirts
David
Was a metaphor and this is a nice shirt
Steven
Whatever, your not better than us
David
I’m quite aware of that
Simon
What is it you want to be again, an actor…like wise up
David
Wise up? What do you mean wise up? And anyway I want to be a writer
Simon
(laughs) Ohhh a writer, you have to be like the next Einstein to be a writer, you only have 5 GCSE’s
David
(frustrated) Einstein was a scientist you moron. You just need to be a good writer and have a f**king brain.
Simon
Well it’s never going to happen
David
So what if it doesn’t, at least I have ambition. I don’t want to do a dead end job all my life like you I want to…swim with dolphins or walk in Memphis, I want to write a sequel to the bible or something, something that I can be proud of
Simon
I have ambition too actually
David
Oh yeah, you plan to work in Asda after this course…real ambitious.
Simon
£5.65 an hour
David
(sighs) sure (gives up talking to him)
Simon
Ohhh no comeback
David
It’s not a f**king competition
CUT