Quote: David Bussell @ October 20 2010, 1:55 PM BSTThe question, as you stated in your first email
Hah! "email". Granddad.
Stand Up sketch Page 3
Quote: Leevil @ October 20 2010, 2:55 PM BSTHah! "email". Granddad.
Don't make me report you to the Google!
There just needs to be something else. This is a better edit, and your intentions are clearer but it's nothing anybody else hadn't mused upon before whilst watching Bernard Manning.
Can you think of a comment from someone in the audience?
AUDIENCE MEMBER: "That took him down a peg or two."
But something witty and clever.
Quote: David Bussell @ October 20 2010, 2:57 PM BSTDon't make me report you to the Google!
Quote: Leevil @ October 20 2010, 3:05 PM BSTThere just needs to be something else. This is a better edit, and your intentions are clearer but it's nothing anybody else hadn't mused upon before whilst watching Bernard Manning.
Can you think of a comment from someone in the audience?
AUDIENCE MEMBER: "That took him down a peg or two."
But something witty and clever.
It's a piece of wish-fulfilment for sure but I don't know that I've ever seen a sketch where a bad comic has his throat cut by a runaway bow-tie before.
Quote: David Bussell @ October 20 2010, 3:10 PM BSTIt's a piece of wish-fulfilment for sure but I don't know that I've ever seen a sketch where a bad comic has his throat cut by a runaway bow-tie before.
David, you're just not getting me today, are you? I'm not saying it's been done already. I meant as an audience member to a comic we hate, some of us may have had violent thoughts towards them.
Bussell, I really like the sketch but I need to echo other people. Write the jokes yourself, in the style that you're stealing from. Why use a joke you've found if you're not 100% sure it can't be attributed to a still iving comic (no matter how shit they are)? It's not worth the risk of have people accuse you of plagarism and marr your good name. I just don't see the benefit to you, except for less effort. Just my opinion though, natch. You might not agree the risk justifies the extra effort.
Quote: Leevil @ October 20 2010, 3:16 PM BSTDavid, you're just not getting me today, are you? I'm not saying it's been done already. I meant as an audience member to a comic we hate, some of us may have had violent thoughts towards them.
I think I am getting you. Yes, most of us have had violent thoughts towards bad comics and this is the wish-fulfilment of that. I just don't see how adding in audience participation (as you've suggested) is going to improve the sketch when we'll be able to read their emotional response from their booing and catcalls. It's just unnecessary to my mind. The focus should be on the comic.
Quote: Nat Wicks @ October 20 2010, 3:18 PM BSTBussell, I really like the sketch but I need to echo other people. Write the jokes yourself, in the style that you're stealing from. Why use a joke you've found if you're not 100% sure it can't be attributed to a still iving comic (no matter how shit they are)? It's not worth the risk of have people accuse you of plagarism and marr your good name. I just don't see the benefit to you, except for less effort. Just my opinion though, natch. You might not agree the risk justifies the extra effort.
Cheers for your take, Nat.
Quote: David Bussell @ October 20 2010, 3:22 PM BSTI think I am getting you. Yes, most of us have had violent thoughts towards bad comics and this is the wish-fulfillment of that. I just don't see how adding in audience participation (as you've suggested) is going to improve the sketch when we'll be able to read their emotional response from their booing and catcalls. It's just unnecessary to my mind. The focus should be on the comic.
It's an unusual sketch, and I'm not sure how you're going to pull it off. But I look forward to finding out. That's not a slight on your writing skills, as you've described the scene well enough. I just can't imagine what I would feel after seeing it.
I'm analyzing it way too much of course.
Quote: Leevil @ October 20 2010, 3:29 PM BSTIt's an unusual sketch, and I'm not sure how you're going to pull it off. But I look forward to finding out. That's not a slight on your writing skills, as you've described the scene well enough. I just can't imagine what I would feel after seeing it.
I'm analyzing it way too much of course.
I don't know that I'll be making any serious attempt to shoot the thing, it was as much a writing experiment as anything.
This is top notch, but stuck with your own gags it really adds something
they make him sound sweetly pathetic
also spread the hate, how about a lesbian gag or two?
Nb could the puppet rip out his throat and then do a nice PC joke?
Quote: David Bussell @ October 20 2010, 3:32 PM BSTI don't know that I'll be making any serious attempt to shoot the thing, it was as much a writing experiment as anything.
Oh, right.
Anyway, it made me think of that um, Man 2.0 sketch you did with Shoepie. What with all the violence.
Quote: sootyj @ October 20 2010, 3:32 PM BSTThis is top notch, but stuck with your own gags it really adds something
they make him sound sweetly pathetic
also spread the hate, how about a lesbian gag or two?
Nb could the puppet rip out his throat and then do a nice PC joke?
Cheers. Although again, not my jokes, I just tried to order them in a way whereby they built in offensiveness. No reason why a lesbian joke wouldn't work but I was playing by the rule of three and got stuck on racial slurs. Like your puppet idea but it's a different joke. Maybe you should write it?
Quote: Leevil @ October 20 2010, 3:34 PM BSTOh, right.
Anyway, it made me think of that um, Man 2.0 sketch you did with Shoepie. What with all the violence.
Ha, yeah, good times!
Wait, where is that son of a bitch, I did a load of VO for him and he never got around to making the animation to go with it! SHOEPIIIIIIIIIIIIE!
You do VO work?
Interesting...
Well, let us remove the word work.
Cus I ain't paying no 'mothers.
Quote: Leevil @ October 20 2010, 3:40 PM BST
You do VO work?
Interesting...
If I like the writing and I'm asked nicely. And I get a nudie photo of the writer doing squat thrusts in a cucumber patch.
Quote: Leevil @ October 20 2010, 3:40 PM BSTInteresting...
Quote: Leevil @ October 20 2010, 3:40 PM BSTArousing...