Inspector- Sketch

EXT. OUTSIDE PUB. NIGHT

THERE IS A STAND OFF OUTSIDE A PUB. THERE ARE OBVIOUSLY SOME CRIMINALS INSIDE AND THERE ARE OF LOT OF POLICE CARS AND ARMED POLICEMEN OUTSIDE THE PUB. A POLICE INSPECTOR IS WITH A COLLEAGUE.

Inspector
It’s me they want to talk to.

Sarg
Don’t be ridiculous guv. You can’t go in there. It’s too dangerous.

Inspector
I know sergeant, but I have to.

Sarg
Good luck sir.

Inspector
Thank you.

Sarg (to armed police)
Hold your fire. The guvvner is going in.

(to Bobby in uniform)
There goes a brave man. He’s our last hope.

INSPECTOR WALKS TOWARDS THE PUB. THE DOOR OPENS AND HE GOES IN.

CUT TO ONE HOUR LATER

THE DOOR OPENS AND THE INSPECTOR COMES OUT. HE WALKS UNSTEADILY TOWARDS SARG.

Sarg
Hold your fire!

INSPECTOR THROWS SARG SOME CAR KEYS.

Inspector (to Sarg)
You’d better drive.

INSPECTOR COLLAPSES IN A HEAP.

Normally you write some great sketches but I have no idea what just happened? Did they beat him up?

lol I guess the inspector had one too many drinks during his time in the pub.

Ahhhh I seee! I thought they either beat him up or.... well, I wont say the other thing!!

A follow up sketch could be the Sarge on the phone to them saying something like "As an act of goodwill send out a hostage and six pints of lager".

I didn't know what was happening either. I thought that the sarge was killed by the car keys. Could you clarify WJFK. (I apologise in advance if i'm being dumb)

Policeman goes into pub and comes out pissed. Simple and funny depending on the standard of who's playing the drunk copper. OK, so it's not groundbreaking comedy but there again I don't think it was meant to be. I liked it.

Oh I see. I was being dumb. WJFK I [now] think the sketch was OK but for me it needs either another twist or a good punchline.

I liked it (cos I understood it).

A bit thick some of these around here aren't they.

I thought it was too obvious to be that as WJFK's sketches are usually surreal, plus its an old joke. Its done too many times aswell. What I mean is its a sketch where they set it up to make you think a character is going to do one thing and then does another. Like i said in my earlier post it needs a twist or a punchline.

(David I try to appear clever so keep it down )

I saw no hidden agenda and I was with it fom the off. As Baumski says, the size of the laugh would be down to the quality of the actor playing it.

I liked it and could visualise it easily - possiblle player: Mel Smith or somebody like that.

Good one

The situation can be a building block to a great punchline. I had to read it a third time before i got what was going on, so maybe work on a little more development.

If it had said "...AND THE INSPECTOR COMES OUT DRUNK." I would have got it. And thats not me being thick, scripts need to be clear, if a producer wants a challenge they'll do a crossword.

But anyway, that's a minor point!!! When I understood it I thought it was a nice quick simple joke that would work well in a sketch show.

I laughed out loud (in full, not abbreviation). But I echo Shoepie in that clearer direction might help.
Well done. One for the infamous sketch project, I hope?

Agree. Very Smith and Jones sketchy in manner. Like it. Would either have to be very quick/no dwelling or would need to distract the viewer so they're not expecting the 'punchline'. Personal preference for the former.

Dan