What are you excreting?

We've got pretty much all the other "What are you..?" threads, but I think I've spotted a gap in the market.

This is the thread for disclosing and discussing any noteworthy biological extretions you've made recently.

Had something interesting drop out of your arse? Pissing an unusual colour piss? Weeping boil causing you concern? Perhaps you've hilariously noticed that your vomit always seems to contain carrots.

This is the thread for you.

I, for example, have just had the blackest shite I've ever had in my life. I was drinking red wine last night, which is the probable cause. But, seriously, this shite was so black it bears all the warning signs of terminal internal bleeding.

I had to use half a bottle of Domestos just to get the skids out of the pan.

Anybody else want to chip in?

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ October 10 2010, 8:59 PM BST

I, for example, have just had the blackest shite I've ever had in my life.

View original

Just laughing at the sentence, not your actual predicament, Kev.

My pores are pouring buckets of sweat at the moment. I'm brewing some beer and the air temperature has climbed to 85F/29C after 2 weeks of slightly cooler weather. It's even hotter near the roaring fire under the boil kettle.

Repeat thread - although the last ones were locked due to a desire to suppress repulsive revelations about defecation and micturition: https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/12978/ https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/12977/

Those threads are about the colour of shit and piss. While my example may have fit into one of those categories, this is a much broader subject as DaButt has already exemplified.

Ewwwwww Kevin. There was a reason threads like this were locked. No one, especially me, wants to know you've had black poo!

Threads like this make Ellie cry.

Make me die inside a litte bit.

Quote: zooo @ October 11 2010, 9:03 AM BST

Make me die inside a litte bit.

View original

Be sure to let us know what it smells like when it comes out.

Roses.

I might do a wee. I've been drinking cherry tango so it might be pink. Probably not though.

If it is I would strongly recommend seeing a doctor.

Right, I am off for a poo. I shall be sure to consult my Bristol stool chart and report back.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ October 10 2010, 8:59 PM BST

I had to use half a bottle of Domestos just to get the skids out of the pan.

Anybody else want to chip in?

View original

Into your pan you mean?

I had a baroca drink this morning as I was feelin run down

My piss both looked and stunk like foamy Sunny Delight

It was actually really rather attractive

I took a picture of it on my iPod if anyone wants me to upload here

Sorry lofthouse, nah. Let's not have this thread.