The thing that goes Woooh!

A Radio rejects effort:

A SHOP DOOR JINGLES.

Shop Asst:
Welcome to the Party Shop, what can I do for you today Sir

Customer:
I was looking for one of those things you blow through to make a noise, I'm not sure what it's called though.

Shop Asst:
What sort of Noise does it make exactly. Does it make a (SFX: PARTY BLOWER) noise?

Customer
No, no, I've got some of the things that go (SFX: PARTY BLOWER) already. The thing I was after makes more of a (SFX: SIREN WHISTLE) noise.

Shop Asst:
Oh yes I know what you mean. The thing that goes (SFX: SIREN WHISTLE).

Customer
That's the one. Have you got any of those?

Shop Asst:
I'll just check (SHOUTS) Dave, have we got any of those things that go (SFX: SIREN WHISTLE)

Dave: (from a distance)
I'll just have a look........ We've got the things that go (SFX: PARTY BLOWER)

Shop Asst:
No he's already got some of the things that go (SFX: PARTY BLOWER), he just wants one of the things that goes (SFX: SIREN WHISTLE) (TO CUSTOMER) he's just having a look.

Dave:
We've run out of the things that go (SFX: SIREN WHISTLE), all we've got are the ones that go (SFX: SLIDE WHISTLE)

Shop Asst:
We've sold out of the things that go (SFX: SIREN WHISTLE) I'm afraid Sir, but we do have the things that go (SFX: SLIDE WHISTLE)

Customer:
Hmm that's not really what I was after, will you bet getting more of the things that go (SFX: SIREN WHISTLE) in soon?

Shop Asst:
Should have them in next week . But while you're here, I'll do you a deal.
You can have two (SFX: SLIDE WHISTLE) for the price of a (SFX: PARTY BLOWER).

Customer:
Thanks that's very kind of you..

Shop Asst:
And as I'm feeling generous I'll even throw in a (SFX: DUCK QUACKER)

Customer :
Well there's no need for that sort of language!

END

It might not be obvious to every reader that when 'PB' or 'SLW' appears in the dialogue, the initials are replaced by the actual sound effect.

Having established that, it's a very enjoyable radio sketch - not least because it makes excellent use of radio as a sound medium.

I can imagine some people might not get it but true aficionados of the genre cannot fail to be amused by this effort,

Nice ending, too.

Cheers Ming!
Maybe I should Bold them to make it clearer.

Ideally, it should be something like:

Shop Asst:
What sort of Noise does it make exactly. Does it make a (FX: PARTY BLOWER) noise?

Customer
No, no, I've got some of the things that go (FX: PARTY BLOWER) already. The thing I was after makes more of a (FX: SLIDE WHISTLE) noise.

Yes good thinking
I'll give it an edit

Cheers

LOL. That's the most orginal sketch I've seen in yonks.

Wish I'd been able to make it to the Radio Rejects show now.

This starts brilliantly but doesn't go anywhere and the end is a bit of a damp squib.

Really good use of sound Steve, really enjoyed this. GT might have a point about the ending though.

I think it is great.

Cheers all.

I'm a bit annoyed that I didn't go to see it perfromed.
But they said they might do it again with different noises as the actors had a lot of fun with it.

Lovely sketch. I really liked this. Quite an original idea aswell and nice ending.

A very sound sketch, indeed. Liked it a lot.

Reminded me of the excellent: "Margaret? A gentleman here wants pirate memory games. Ages 4 to 8." Would be nice to have one of those old tin cow noise-maker toys (makes mooing noises) in there too.