A Laugh And A Half

A PUB.
DON - THE BARMAN.
BILL - A CUSTOMER.

DON:
Mornin' stranger. Where ya been?

BILL: I had a few problems with the old man, and me mum.

DON: All sorted now?

BILL: Yeah. Got both the old sods tucked away, ain't I.

DON: Usual?

BILL: Just a half. Drivin' ain't I.

DON PULLS UP A HALF, SLIDES IT ACCROSS THE BAR TO BILL:
Here ya go, one fifty for cash.

BILL DELVES INTO A POCKET AND DUMPS A LOAD OF DUST AND COINS ON THE BAR.

DON: What's all this dust?

BILL: Which pocket did I get the money from?

DON: The right one.

BILL: That'll be me dad, then.

Top drawer Ste

Thanks, G Mc. One posi-response is better than a neggy sarny in the face.

I concur with gerry. Good.

I think this is pretty good Stephen.
Nice one

This was funny Stephen. Nice idea with a strong punchline. I think you could trim it down though to this:

Quote: Stephen Birch @ October 5 2010, 8:48 AM BST

A PUB.
DON - THE BARMAN.
BILL - A CUSTOMER.

DON:
Mornin' stranger. Where ya been?

BILL: I had a few problems with the old man, and me mum. Both tucked away now though.

DON: Usual?

DON PULLS UP A HALF, SLIDES IT ACCROSS THE BAR TO BILL:

BILL DELVES INTO A POCKET AND DUMPS A LOAD OF DUST AND COINS ON THE BAR.

DON: What's all this dust?

BILL: Which pocket did I get the money from?

DON: The right one.

BILL: That'll be me dad, then.

View original

We can trim it even further to good effect.

A PUB.
DON - THE BARMAN.
BILL - A CUSTOMER.

DON:
Mornin' stranger. Where ya been?

BILL: I had a few problems with my mum and dad. All over now though.

DON PULLS A PINT, SLIDES IT ACCROSS THE BAR TO BILL:

BILL DELVES INTO A POCKET AND DUMPS A LOAD OF DUST AND COINS ON THE BAR.

DON: What's all this dust?

BILL: Which pocket did I get it from?

DON: The right.

BILL: That'll be me dad, then.

Very good Ming. Good editing. We can trim it further though;

A PUB.
DON - THE BARMAN.
BILL - A CUSTOMER.

DON:
Mornin' stranger.

BILL: Problems with mum and dad. Sorted now.

DON PULLS A PINT, SLIDES IT ACCROSS THE BAR TO BILL:

BILL DELVES INTO A POCKET AND DUMPS A LOAD OF DUST AND COINS ON THE BAR.

DON: What's the dust?

BILL: Which pocket did I get it from?

DON: The right.

BILL: That'll be dad, then.[/quote]

Okay, let's fast forward to:

BILL WALKS INTO A BAR.

BILL: Ouch!

Let's not.

Quote: Will Cam @ October 7 2010, 6:32 PM BST

Let's not.

View original

Too late.

I already have done.

And now I'm here all alone.

very good, made me chuckle.

even though I anticipated the fate of his mam and dad the payoff still worked a treat.

good'n