A MEMORIAL SERVICE IN A CHURCH EVERYONE IS DRESSED IN BLACK AND WEEPING.
THERE ARE PHOTOS OF A WIFE 3 KIDS AND A DOG SURROUNDED BY FLOWERS AT THE FRONT.
GARY WOULD APPEAR TO BE THE FATHER AND HUSBAND HE SITS APART CRYING DEEPLY
VICAR(WHO IS CONDUCTING THE SERVICE)
And now we will here some words from Gary Privett father, husband and beloved friend to Stacy, Clare, Jules, Mandy and of course poor Tizer.
GARY SITS MOTION LESS FOR SOMETIME
THE SILENCE IS AWKWARD
FRANK APPEARS IN A LONG COAT, HE FIRMLY GRASPS GARY BY THE SHOULDERS
GARY
Frank you came. Oh mate I don't know what to do.
FRANK
Don't worry mate I'll speak.
GARY
Thanks pal there's not much chance of you making a joke is there?
FRANK
No mate.
FRANK WALKS TO THE LECTERN AND TAKES THE PRIESTS PLACE
FRANK
4 beautiful and a faithful dog cruelly taken in a cruel accident.
That's tragedy.
These terrible events happened 5 years ago.
That's time.
Put time and tragedy together and what do you get?
Comedy!
FRANK RIPS OFF HIS COAT HE IS DRESSED AS A 1970S COMIC WITH RUFFLED SHIRT AND ROTATING DICKY BOW.
FRANK
Hey Gary what's got 12 legs a tail and no pulse? You're family!
What do you call a man who runs someone's family over with a combine harvester to get a cheap laugh?
WOMAN IN CONGREGATION
A monster!
FRANK
No you call them Funster Frank! Did I make you laugh yet Gary?
POLICE BURST INTO THE CHURCH AND DRAG FRANK AWAY
GARY SITS WITH HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS IN SILENCE
HE THEN POPS HIS HEAD UP WITH A BIG GRIN
GARY
That was Funster Frank I told you he was hilarious!
THE CONGREGATION DISSOLVE INTO LAUGHTER