I'm looking at a few old Skitcomp entries to see if they're worth keeping
so any suggestions welcome.
A WOMAN IS SITTING AT A DESK. ON THE WALL BEHIND IS A SIGN THAT READS S.K.I.N
A YOUNG MAN ENTERS:
Man:
Hello is this SKIN?
Woman:
Yes it is. Welcome to the Society for Kindness to & Integration with Northerners.
Man:
I need to visit up North fairly soon and was interested in your intensive week long course.
Woman:
Ok before we start, may I ask are you Cockney?
Man:
No! My parents were both originally from Cockney, but I live just on the outskirts.
Woman:
Good, Good. Here at SKIN we find that Cockney folk, with their heel clicking happy go chirpy ways always find it hardest to integrate with folks from up North.
Man:
Why's that?
Woman:
Mainly because Northerners hate them. Well at least the Northern folk who haven't attended courses with our sister organization SKIDS.
Man:
So what exactly does the course entail?
Woman:
Well firstly we teach you a bit about Northerners & dispell some of the common myths.
Man:
Such as?
Woman:
Well People still believe that Northerners all wear cloth caps, eat whippets for breakfast and everyones on benefits.
Man:
And that's not true then?
Woman:
No. Only the men wear cloth caps, the women don't really wear very much at all.
Man:
Will you be teaching me how to communicate with them?
Woman:
You'd need to go on the 3 year advanced course for that. Our aim is to get you to the point where they don't beat you up very much.
Man:
That sounds great. I'm definitely Interested.
Woman:
Have you had your shots?
Man:
Oh I didn't know I'd need injections.
Woman:
No not those sort of shots. These
(WOMAN BRINGS UP TWO SHOT GLASSES FILLED WITH BROWN LIQUID)
Man:
Is that Gravy?
Woman:
Of course, all northerners like a shot of Gravy once in a while.
Man:
There's so much I need to learn, where can I sign up?
Woman:
It's £ 900 pounds for the week just pay at reception, course starts Monday.
Man:
Sounds great. Thankyou.
(LEAVES)
THE WOMAN SHAKES HER HEAD AND SMILES TO HERSELF
Woman: (In strong Yorkshire accent)
Stupid Southern Twat. More money than brains.
Honestly! shots of gravy whoever heard of such a thing.
SHE LAUGHS TO HERSELF AND THEN BRINGS OUT A PINT OF GRAVY AND TAKES A BIG SWIG
AND GIVES THE GLASS A WINK
Woman: CONT
Eeeeh that's Champion.
