THE ALL NEW BSG COMEDY COMPETITION - 21/5 Page 2

GROUP OF LIONESSES SITTING ROUND A KILL

YOUNG BERYL : Look I'm sorry about this mum. I know you've gone to a lot of trouble and all that. It's just that I want to be a vegetarian.

MUM : You what?

YOUNG BERYL : It's all that squealing and yelping as they die. I mean it's not fair is it, the poor things.

MUM : Don't be ridiculous. We're lions - carnivores. We eat meat.

BERYL : But it's cruel.

MUM : Oh well, if that's how you feel just be my guest. There's more for us then.

BERYL : I'm sorry mum. It's just the way I feel.

MUM : Well don't come running to me when you can't digest any grass or leaves. You'll regret it. You mark my words.

BERYL : I can't live a lie mum.

MUM : You should be careful. You're turning out just like your big sister, Deirdre..

BERYL : What exactly did happen to Deirdre?

MUM : She went like you. Decided to turn veggie.

BERYL : But I haven't seen her for weeks now.

MUM : Well - you remember that lovely meal you commented on last week?

BERYL : NOOOOO.

MUM : Now be a good girl and eat up your wildebeest.

BERYL: Yes mum.

CLOSED!!! CLOSED!!! CLOSED!!! CLOSED!!! CLOSED!!! CLOSED!!!

Please post HERE the username of your favourite entry.

Voting closes - Wednesday 30th May.

Blimey - you're getting a bit organised with this aren't you?

You're not going to catch me up, no matter how much crap you write.

Crap -who me?

Anyway where's the voting site?

It's 'ere!

Now that it's closed I'll add this. I know you were only allowed 1 entry per person, that's why I've waited. This is for those of you over 25.

B.B.C. Announcer: Now on BBC 1 it's a chance to catch up with our late night series that's all animal...it's 'Wildlife on One'

CUT TO A SCENE OF COMPLETE DEBAUCHERY WHERE ANIMALS OF ALL SHAPES AND SIZES ARE IN A PUB COMPLETELY CANING IT. THERE IS A COUPLE OF POLE-CATS IN A TOILET CUBICLE DOING LINES OF COKE, BADGERS AND FERRETS TOGETHER SINKING PINT AFTER PINT AND SINGING POOR RETREADS OF 80'S CLASSICS AND 2 MALE LEOPARDS DOING SOMETHING RUDE TO A FEMALE OF A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SPECIES.

END

It's a poor pun I know but what can you do.

Yes Boits - so bad in fact I had to read it again to get the joke. Maybe it's just too late.

Anyway I think my vote this week is for Charley. (That's probably the first time I have voted for her I think)

I know DC...shocking. Despite this disgraceful criticism to my (admittedly) disgraceful sketch, my vote goes to David Chapman.

A**e licker. Mmm nice.

Right I'm pretty bored of this comp now, so next weeks will probably be the last for a while. Unless someone else wants to take over? Otherwise it'll become a monthly comp.

No you're not. You're doing a great job!!!!!!!!!

You ain't going to catch me up, so stop posting pointless posts!

Okay My Vote goes to David Chapman this week. Very good.

swerytd gets my vote