Wiki as inspired by Bussell on Facebook

3 GUARDS ARE GUARDING THE BANK OF ENGLAND WIKI'D APPROACHES THEM HE IS AN UBER DWEEBY SUPERHERO TYPE GEEK WITH A PAIR OF TIGHTS ON HIS HEAD AND HE HAS AN ACER LAPTOP (THE POO ONES POOR STUDENTS USE)

GUARD1
Clear off the bank of England is closed.

WIKI'D
Not to me the master of all. The one who's very key strokes change the world! I am Wiki'd and you should flee.

GUARD2
Wicked? What are you are a rapping super villain?

GUARD3
Nah it's wick-eed, you no like Alee G ya get me. Crikey a super villain Alee G impersonator that is lame.

GUARD1
What a wally.

ALL 3 GUARDS LAUGH
WIKI'D STARTS TYPING

WIKI'D READING ALOUD AS HE TYPES
The bank of England chandeliers are so loosely screwed in a cough can make one fall, update Wikipedia. (HE COUGHS)

CHANDELIER FALLS ON GUARD1

GUARD2
Oh my God he's editing and updating reality.

GUARD3
Run!

WIKI'D READING ALOUD AS HE TYPES
For the next series of Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson will be runnin over guards in the Bank of England, update.

JEREMY CLARKSON IN A STUPID LOOKING SUPERCAR RUNS OVER THE OTHER 2 GUARDS.

WIKI'D
Now to collect my loot!

FROM BEHIND A PILLAR APPEARS UNTWEETABLE SIMILARLY DRESSED WITH A SIMILAR ACER.

UNTWEETABLE
Not so fast Wiki'd. Your latest update is about to have a bias check.

WIKI'D
Untweetable the fast updating defender of the weak? You and I we aren't so diferent?

UNTWEETABLE
We're nothing alike. I have friends 6 billion infact and soon they're all going to know what a cock stand you are Wiki'd.

WIKI'D
You wouldn't dare.

UNTWEETABLE
Go for your weapon.

THEY TYPE RAPIDLY

UNTWEETABLE
Wiki'd is a total knobber. His mum dresses him or is it his gran. Either way he gives them a big wet cos he's a gay and a girl and totally fuggers. I went to his school and he had to have a special assisstant cos he was such a gay and he wore a nappy. He listens to Avril Levine and crys and cried during that film with Mile Cyrus.
140 characters load, retweet everyone.

WIKI'D
Aaaaaagghhh! Now every one thinks I'm a total bellend.

WIKI'D DIES OF EMBARASSMENT.

UNTWEETABLE
Remember kids internet bullying should only be used against supervillains...and gaymos.

Yowsers, I inspired that? Are you sure it's not chemically related?

Is that good or bad?

It's a bit all over the place for me. I like the idea of Wikipedia amendments carrying over to real life (obviously) but I wasn't so keen on the crassness of your rendition. The dialogue seemed strained and half-assed too, and this sketch demands a full ass.

What the Bussell said.

Hmmm my dailogue has been gettin worse and worse of late.

Edit 1

NORB IS ON HIS COMPUTER HIS GIRLFRIEND BRENDA IS WATCHING DISAPROVING THE RADIO IS ON IN THE BACKGROUND.

NORB
I hate that Chiles I'm going to have some fun. Wikipedia edit Jeremy Chiles has the biggest face in the world it's so big his neck can't support it.

BRENDA
Norb you are such a meanie now everyone will believe that. Once it's on Facebook people will think it's real.

NORB
Exactly. Now who's next? I know I really hate that Anne Widecombe I'll claim she's a witch.

BRENDA
You are such dick why do I go out with you?

NORB
Ooh I'm having so much fun I'm going for a piss.

NORB GOES TO THE TOILET

RADIO PRESENTER
In shock news Jeremy Chiles has died after his stupid fat face broke his neck. And back to the end of Pope Benedict's visit with the ceremonial burning of Anne Widecombe who apparently turned Willian Hague gay.

BRENDA
Hmmm this gives me an idea.

BRENDA TYPES ON THE COMPUTER

NORB RUNS IN

NORB
Hey Brenda did you hear that? Wow what shall I type next? Ooh you've typing.
Norb hs the biggest cock in the world, hey baby.

BRENDA
For you sweetness.

NORB
...shoved up his arse, that's not nice!

6 UNIFORMED THUGS WALK IN 2 PIN NORB TO THE TABLE AND ONE PULLS HIS TROUSERS DOWN. THE OTHER 3 ARE CARRYING SIMON COWELL AS IF HE WERE A BATTERING RAM AIMED AT NORBS BOTTOM.

SIMON COWELL
This sketch is hackenyed and predictable, with lousy structure.

If this is different I'm afraid I can't spot where.

Sorry I always dump first edits at the end of critque threads so people see the new ones first.