Harry Potter and the Bondage Chamber of Secrets.

INT. DUMBLEDORE'S OFFICE.

DUMBLEDORE IS TURNING ALL OF THE PICTURES IN HIS OFFICE SO THAT THEY FACE THE WALL.

Picture Man 1: HEY! What are you doing?!

Picture Man 2: You can't do this? Who is your secret visitor?!

Dumbledore: It will only be for a short while. Well, hopefully a long time. But a short while sounds most probable.

Picture Man 3: What are you doing with that wand down your trousers?!

CUT SCENE.

AFTER THE MEETING.

Dumbledore looks up at the visitor over his half-moon spectacles and begins conversation after an awkward silence.

Dumbledore: ...Was I good?

Cornelius Fudge: Exquisite. I look forward to our little meetings you know. Telling lies to all of my colleagues as to where I really go... gives me a sense of adventure.

Dumbledore: Well, I am afraid Mr.Fudge that I will have to send you packing.

Cornelius Fudge: Ha! Dumbledore, you have been packing for me for a number of hours!

Dumbledore: Ah! I see what you mean! To be honest I never thought that we would do it. But after a number of these little visits we have finally filled that stone basin up to the brim with sperm.

Cornelius Fudge: Extraordinary isn't it? An industrial amount you've got there, what do you intend to do with it all?

Dumbledore: Ah, Im going to get Harry Potter to dunk his face into it tomorrow. Little Bastard.

END

Great up till the lack of punchline.

The pictures bit is aces and the cornelius fudge joke is neato.

But it needs to go somewhere.

Also Harry Potter is a little old

haha, well I thought it did have a punch, cause the stone basin thing is meant to be the pensieve, dunno if you have seen/read it?

Yeh but it's a massive leap.

What is?

Aah now I get it.

Didn't Dumbledore drink from the Pensive?

No, I don't think so, its a weird non-liquid substance that they use to fall into memories... looks an awful lot like sperm.

http://www.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&q=harry%20potter%20pensieve&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&biw=1024&bih=578

Aah jeez that is one hell of a leap of the imagination.

Compliment? Haha

Hey Juan,

I liked it, especially the turning round of the pictures. As Soots says, Harry Potter might be a bit old hat nowadays.

I got it, but it wasn't funny enough for me. Loved the buildup.

Ok I might try to improve the ending.. I only knocked this one out in a few minutes.. Thank you Nat and Angie.

And I swear it might be ok cause I think a new film comes out soon?

INT. DUMBLEDORE'S OFFICE.

DUMBLEDORE IS TURNING ALL OF THE PICTURES IN HIS OFFICE SO THAT THEY FACE THE WALL.

Picture Man 1: HEY! What are you doing?!

Picture Man 2: You can't do this? Who is your secret visitor?!

Dumbledore: It will only be for a short while. Well, hopefully a long time. But a short while sounds most probable.

Picture Man 3: What are you doing with that wand down your trousers?!

CUT SCENE.

AFTER THE MEETING.

Dumbledore looks up at the visitor over his half-moon spectacles and begins conversation after an awkward silence.

Dumbledore: ...Was I good?

Cornelius Fudge: Exquisite. I look forward to our little meetings you know. Telling lies to all of my colleagues as to where I really go... gives me a sense of adventure.

Dumbledore: Well, I am afraid Mr. Fudge that I will have to send you packing.

Cornelius Fudge: Ha! Dumbledore, you have been packing for me for a number of hours! And quite roughly might I add!

Dumbledore: Ah! I see what you mean! To be honest I never thought that we would do it. But after a number of these little visits we have finally filled that stone basin up to the brim with sperm.

Cornelius Fudge: Extraordinary isn't it? An industrial amount you've got there, what do you intend to do with it all?

Dumbledore: Ah, Im going to get Harry Potter to dunk his face into it tomorrow. Little Bastard.

END OF SCENE.

HARRY AND DUMBLEDORE ARE SITTING IN HIS OFFICE, LOOKING EXTREMELY WORN AFTER A LONG BATTLE IN THE BONDAGE CHAMBER OF SECRETS.

Harry: I just don't understand it.

Dumbledore: There is a lot to understand for a wizard of your age, Harry. You do realise that your father gave you that Chlamydia Cloak because he knew you would end up down there. And you and only you could have pulled that dildo out of the sorting hat.

Harry: But why Professor?

Dumbledore: Well, you're a bender Harry.

Harry: But that doesn't explain how I can talk Gaymouth? What is it anyway?

Dumbledore: Its a language that only the heirs of Slytherin-my-anus have the ability to speak. It can seduce even the most reluctant of same sex opponents.

Ok I don't actually know where I am going with this..

HARRY, RON AND HERMIONE ARE IN THE PREFECT'S BATHROOM.

Ron: So remind me. Why are we brewing this Aids potion for Malfoy.. in broad daylight in the middle of a girl's bathroom?

Hermione: Well, no-one ever goes in here.

Harry: Why not?

Hermione: ...Groaning Myrtle.

Harry & Ron: "Groaning Myrtle?"

Hermione: Groaning Myrtle. She's a ghost that lives here.. and no-one can stand her constant groaning apart from the lower years who come here to masturbate.

Ron: ..I thought that was glue I sat on.

Hermione: - Rumour has it that she died mid-magical orgasm, causing her to be trapped here for eternity..

AN AWKWARD SILENCE. THE GROANING OF MYRTLE CAN NOW BE HEARD.

Hermione: Well,that's your magical history lesson over. Right lets go, this Aids potion is finished - we just need some of Crabbe and Goyle's Pubes.

HERMIONE AND RON ARE ABOUT TO EXIT THROUGH THE DOOR WHEN RON TURNS ON THE SPOT.

Ron: C'mon mate, lets go.

Harry: Yeah, I'll catch up mate.

Ron: What for mate? And why is your wand down your trousers?

CAMERA GOES TO THE FLOOR WHERE THEY WERE SITTING AND HARRY'S WAND IS THERE, NEXT TO A FEW BOOKS.

Ron: Wingardium levi-BONER!

END.