Cockney Nursery Rhymes #1: Baa Baa Black Sheep

(NOTE: This is a really weird concept I came up with. Let's see if it works.)

INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY [12:00]

A SMALL ARFICAN MAN WITH A CLIPBOARD IS TENDING TO THE VARIOUS CRATES AROUND THE WAREHOUSE. A ‘PHIL MITCHELL’ LIKE COCKNEY BURSTS IN THROUGH THE DOOR.

COCKNEY:
(AGGRESSIVELY) Oi, Baa Baa Black Sheep. Have you any wool?

BBBS TURNS TO THE COCKNEY AND LOOKS SCARED.

BBBS:
(INTIMIDATED) Yes sir, yes sir. Three bags full.

THE COCKNEY STEPS FORWARD AND GRABS BBBS BY THE COLLOR OF HIS SHIRT AND SLAMS HIM INTO THE WALL LIFTING HIM PARTIALLY OFF THE GROUND.

COCKNEY:
(MENACINGLY) Are you lying to me son?

BBBS:
(SCARED) No, no. One for the master. One for the (COCKNEY LIFTS HIM FURTHER OFF THE GROUND) ARGH! Dame. And one for the little boy that (COCKNEY STARTS TO LOWER HIM) lives down (BBBS NOW ON GROUND) the lane.

COCKENY SEEMS AS IF HE IS TURNED AWAY BUT SUDDENLY GRABS BBBS BY THE THROAT.

COCKNEY:
(AGGRESSIVELY) You sell wool to little children. (GETS IN HIS FACE) What kind of pervert are you?

BBBS:
(SCARED) It’s for his father. HIS FATHER!

COCKNEY RELEASES BBBS AND DUSTS HIMSELF OFF.

COCKNEY:
Alright then. But I’m going to be checking into that. I’ll be back. Have my wool ready tomorrow. (TURNING AND LEAVING) Bye bye, Black Sheep.

BBBS LETS OUT A SIGH OF RELIEF.

[b][u][END][b][u]

LOL!!! Not very helpful but nearly split my beer really funny

Is that racist?!?! lol

He is a cockney ... x_x

If you make a few more of these you'll have a good series of sketches. It's a good idea. 'Are you lying to me son' clinches it for me?.

I quite liked this as it was original and a bit off the wall. It might work as a quick insert somewhere in a modern sketch-show.

Possibility to do one or two more based on kids rhymes but then I think the idea would probably fizzle out as the audience would know the score by then.

Very bloodie good. Loved it...

Hi Walker

I like this concept a lot. Very funny. At first, thought you were only going to use the lines in the nursery line and no others (which I was quite looking forward to).

As said, would be a good series of sketches (but make sure the 'last' sketch in the series has the big, unexpected finish.)

Dan

Loved it! It hooked me from the off and didn`t let up. Brilliant!

Thanks everyone. It seems to have went down a treat. I am officially a one-hit-wonder until i come up with something just as good.

The second sketch of the series is up: https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/1972

Can I do one, can i try a cock a knee nursery rhyme. I will put it on here. I want to have a shot. Go on pleeeeeeease!

Be my guest. But if you upstage i will not be a happy bunny.

Ok. How about

Hey diddle diddle me dads on the fiddle
Took an E and I flew round the moon
Me mate laughed said "Dya fancy some Bum fun"
'N' The fish played a cool rocking tune

OR

Humpty the fat bastard sat on a wall
Humpty the enormous had a great fall
All the skinny whories and all the thin men
Giggled and poked fun and pushed him off again

Or

Dirty Bob peep, rogered a sheep
Now doesnt know where to find it
Leave it alone, it will one day come home
Dragging its sore arse behind it

Different format to my sketches so therefore you are onto your own little lyric there. Sort of in the "There was an old man called Ennis" fashion.

I did not want to use your format, nor sketch set up Walker. Thats yours and unique. I just wanted to be a silly billy.x