A sketch I posted up here a few months ago and then went off and filmed. Would appreciate any feedback.
Feedback on 'The Shoogaloo'.
There's some really funny stuff here Otterfox but I think it needs to be cut down a lot so it can get out. The echo in the room is pretty bad too, I really would like to see your stuff with some better audio being used. Easier said than done though I know.
I think this suffers from a very static viewpoint. Also it's quite hard to hear.
I think scratchyr is right about the length. One thing you could do - although it would require a reshoot - is to do it as a series of reverses; filming close ups of the two actors, filming just one half of the conversation at a time. Then you can cut back and forth between them. That would add some more dynamism to the piece.
Cheers guys. Both comments noted. Yes our camera and sound work could probably do with an improvement and it probably could do with a bit of a trim. I also stopped writing mid-way through the 1st scene but I'm happy with the idea and was glad to get it filmed.
I see you also have the wooden floor echo battle! Unfortunately that made it very hard for me to hear a lot of the dialogue.
I was told covering hard surfaces with cloth etc. would help so maybe try that. Next time I film I'm banging nails into the walls, hooking bulldog clips onto the nails and then clipping sheets to all the walls. The neighbours will think I've gone mental!
I agree with all the other improvements suggested. I liked the bit where he was describing what the Shoogaloo looked like. That was my favourite part and could have benefited from some horrified reaction shots from Thompson.
Keep them coming Mr Otterfox!
A quick and easy solution to your audio problem would be a tie mic. You can get them for about 25 quid from Maplins. As has been said before the static camera and bad sound distracts from what's actually been said so I don't know if it's funny or not. You need to shoot the scene over and over again using different cam perspectives. Over-shoulder shots etc, then edit them together afterwards.
If you're just filming your stuff for yourself that's fine, but I'd advise strongly against sending this to any companies in its present form as it looks very amateurish.
It's also about 5 minutes too long. I laughed at the duck hanging itself though!
Quote: Lee Henman @ September 11 2010, 6:31 PM BSTA quick and easy solution to your audio problem would be a tie mic.
*Cancels Amazon order for 1500 bulldog clips!*
Sorry for the delay getting back to both of you. Just wanted to say thanks for the great feedback cos I'm a bit clueless when it comes to the techie elements of videoing. Bought myself a tie mic in Maplin. Let the games begin 
There is funny stuff in there, but it is too long, with too many ideas. I would say it needs to be shorter and more focussed. The mannered delivery of the lines is a little hesitant and makes it feel longer, as well as possibly exacerbating the sound problem.