Sorry Griff but you are searching for the holy grail. I find if you go on the first night you stand a chance of watching a film with real fans who want to see the film. People in general are mainly twats. I blame the following:
Reality TV
Mobile Phones
MTV
YouTube
The internet
That really f**king annoys me.
It seems to be a 50/50 chance (not that I go loads) but about half the time I do, it stays reasonably quiet. The other half I want to murder the entire audience, and I'm so angry when I leave that I wish I'd stayed at home.
I suppose if you go and see an arty/foreign/subtitled film you'd have a better chance of having a very low or nonexistent number of chavs, teenager and kids.
Oh I forgot to rant..
If the film starts at 8pm, be in your f**king seat for 8pm. Do not arrive at 8.10 and make me stand up to let your smelly arse past.
Well there's lovely little quiet one I used to frequent, where was it now, ah, Soho I believe. Try that one. I'd say it was more art house. And wear a mac or something because the seats were always a bit sticky, don't want to get your undies, er trousers stuck. Good luck with that one.
It does piss me off, people talking in the pictures; it's ten quid to get in too, why waste your money by ignoring the film?!
I was quite the big man once and walked right across the cinema to the far corner seats to tell a small group of people to shut the f**k up or leave. They left. Oh yes!
I also once kicked over a young boy who kept running up and down the aisle every few minutes. Out went my leg and down he went!
I forgot to mention the group I told to shut the f**k up where all girls, aged about fifteen. I'm quite the tough guy. Neither teenage girls nor young boys escape my wrath. Older boys and men will be left untainted by my wrath, however.
Quote: Matthew Stott @ August 29 2010, 11:20 PM BSTI'm quite the tough guy. Neither teenage girls nor young boys escape my wrath. Older boys and men will be left untainted by my wrath, however.
Are you a Community Support Officer Matthew?
Erm... I can't remember a time that I've been to the cinema and anyone in the audience has annoyed me. I must be lucky! To me it's one of those things that I worry about but it never actually happens.
Oh wait! One time there was this fat guy that laughed at all the commercials, even though they'd been on TV for months!!! Grrr!
...If I hadn't been on the phone I would have had words!!
Quote: Matthew Stott @ August 29 2010, 11:20 PM BSTIt does piss me off, people talking in the pictures; it's ten quid to get in too, why waste your money by ignoring the film?!
I was quite the big man once and walked right across the cinema to the far corner seats to tell a small group of people to shut the f**k up or leave. They left. Oh yes!
I also once kicked over a young boy who kept running up and down the aisle every few minutes. Out went my leg and down he went!
I forgot to mention the group I told to shut the f**k up where all girls, aged about fifteen. I'm quite the tough guy. Neither teenage girls nor young boys escape my wrath. Older boys and men will be left untainted by my wrath, however.
I often want to turn around and say shut up (I have a couple of times) but I usually stick to loud tutting and a few glares.
i complained to the manager of our local cinema that the sound quality was s**t, only to discover that the little s**ts behind had managed to get a couple of peanuts in my ears 
Quote: Griff @ August 29 2010, 10:51 PM BSTSo I've just had another trip to the pictures ruined by a cinema full of ignorant arseholes chattering non-stop while simultaneously stuffing their faces for two hours with big rustly bin bags full of crisps. And this was a Picturehouse not a Vue or a UCI. You literally could not hear the dialogue in the quiet bits for the noise of chavs troughing their way through ten tons of individually wrapped pick and mix. And even in the other bits, any immersion in the film was impossible due to people not understanding the difference between a cinema and their front room. Why anybody who likes films would choose to watch them in a room full of twats who apparently have no interest in actually watching the film is beyond me.
I hate this. They should ban food in cinema's in my opinion, or at least have a 'no food' screening. How someone can't last 2hrs without something to eat or drink is beyond me.
Quote: Nil Putters @ August 29 2010, 11:45 PM BSTI hate this. They should ban food in cinema's in my opinion, or at least have a 'no food' screening. How someone can't last 2hrs without something to eat or drink is beyond me.
And lose all that concessions revenue? Not likely.
Why not give everyone bubblewrap to pop during the film, incase their attention span deficient brains get bored of the film?
Quote: Griff @ August 29 2010, 11:48 PM BSTThat is indeed the problem. Cinemas are basically food retailers who show films as a way of getting customers into their shop.
I hate the smell too. Eurgh.
I was at the cinema recently and some bloke answered his phone and had a full conversation on it, during the film.
I tutted, I can tell you.
Quote: Nil Putters @ August 29 2010, 11:52 PM BSTI tutted, I can tell you.
Not too loudly, obviously, I did want to cause a fuss.