Ishy once had a trial for Brighton and Hove Albion.
Sadly, his career in professional football was cut short when both his knee-caps fell off during a reserve team game against Stockport County.
Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 78
Ishy got the trial because he knew the man who created them, Lofthouse, in 1901. And because they didn't have any players yet.
Vader can Bench Press 20 Benches
Haha, Steve Sunshine's not allowed the special potion because he fell in the cauldron as a baby.
Vader is the result of a groundbreaking 1940s government experiment - when a scraping of dried residue from Stanley Matthew's jockstrap, taken from the Wembley changing room, was mixed with a similar flaky substance located in the crotch of Gracie Field's bloomers in the London Palladium dressing room. Possum sperm was added..and hey presto!
Obviously, to save the government's face and the nation's global standing, the results of said experiment have been covered up...until now.
In 1215 King John signed the Magna Carta.
Juan Kerr has declared (on parchment) that it doesn't apply to him. He insists that the Queen takes his land (as if she would want it), shags his bride to be (a builder called Arthur) and throws him in Gaol without trial (Mondays and Thursdays only).
Or was that a film I saw on Channel 5?
Will Cam once fell for his wife's gentle nudging to see if he could fit in the large freezer in the garage. Once in, his wife put a big chair on top so he couldn't get out and he froze to death... but boy his family ate well that Christmas.
Ellie JP misread the application for the London Marathon and ate 300 prunes in the hope of getting the Marathon Runs.
Sootyj wears panties made from the hymen of virgins. Oh those poor nuns........
Will Cam likes to leap out at people from behind dustbins dressed as Chas from Chas and Dave fame. He then shouts 'Gertcha' at the top of his voice. For every person who soils themselves out of fear he treats himself to a hob-nob.
Ishy only communicates via a glove puppet of Jane Austen.
No one ever asks John Lucas more than once to demostrate how he 'does it' to a Cadbury's Cream Egg.
(It's supposed to be unfounded Rob!)
Rob H has no armchair, so when he gets back home of an evening simply crouches and puts his arms out, in order to ape the aforementioned missing item.
Despite being on Incapacity Benefit for the last 16 years, John Lucas can still touch his own perineum with the tip of his tongue.
Whenever Chipolata looks at his avatar, he thinks it's his cat saying it's ready for more 'loving'.