British Comedy Guide

Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 75

Tuumble was Burgess Meredith's stunt double in Rocky.

Diana didn't die ...oh no, she is, in fact, Nil Putters in disguise. She's (he's) gonna run drunkenly and hysterically down the aisle on Friday, and scream to the world that Charles is a c**t, and that Phil the Greek's an even bigger c**t, before crashing head first into a gothic clustered stone pillar.
Prima donna attention seeker!

Incredibly, Juan Kerr can carry up to 100 times an ant's own body weight!

Tim recently smuggled 320lbs of cheese into Mexico, via his butt.

Nils signature, 'C**t by proxy' refers to the no.1 selling perfume in Estonia.

Quote: BuryBob @ April 27 2011, 12:59 AM BST

Nils signature, 'C**t by proxy' refers to the no.1 selling perfume in Estonia.

Laughing out loud

Laughing out loud

Steve enjoys a drink in the evening, midday and especially in the morning.

Steve is Ellie's Shetland pony, named after her favourite snooker player Steve Davis. Elllie once shared a night of romance with Steve, and felt a little horse in the morning.

We have been asked to announce the death of Nil Putters, 76 years of Potter's Bar, who passed away following a short gayness.

The funeral will take place at St Sodomy's church with internment in a paupers grave.

Family flowers only. Donations in lieu of flowers to Dale Winton.

The only item of clothing that fits Will Cam perfectly is his dad's bra.

John Lucas has HIV but has been selling his samples as a health drink for years.

Lucas AIDS is surprisingly popular.

Sootyj suffers from the little-known medical condition, narcolepsy-by-proxy, and doctors have advised him against talking to bus drivers or those operating heavy machinery.

Tim Walker is running a million pound campaign to have Bristol renamed "Bristols"

Sooty once spent a year going round the country changing the name on all street signs from 'Street' or 'Avenue' to Goebbels.

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