British Comedy Guide

Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 70

Will Cam has a full head of hair but still wears a toupe for asthetic reasons

Steve Sunshine wanks in his sleep in time with his snoring. On the upstroke (from balls to helmet) he emits a snort. On the downstroke (from helmet to balls) he emits a whistle.

Certain remote dyslexic Amazon tribes still worship Steve Sunshine as a dog.

Big Jack has perfect timing

Steve Sunshine's mass is used to define the kilogram in the International System of Units. Scientists have pleaded with him to stop eating though, as recent binges by Steve down his local kebab emporium have led to Europe feeling much heavier.

Ishy was big in the fifties, but has slimmed down since he turned 60.

Big Jack, the belligerent, argumentative bastard, saw a rowing machine advertised on eBay©.

How pissed off was he when he opened up the box only to discover that it was actually a machine that simulates the action needed to travel on water in a boat, and not something that he thought he could argue with at will.

Not his finest moment.....

Juan Kerr has Portnoy's complaint.

Big Jack gave a donkey a chinese burn at Easter 1976.

Will Cam gave me my first big break in Comedy writing.
He broke my Nose when I nicked one of his jokes.

Steve sunshine actually nicked my vintage panty collection.

Will Cam runs an agency introducing young German men to single British men for casual fun, called 'Will Cam Men'.

Corey O'Graffor is wanted by Cumbrian police on a murder charge. At a recent agricultural show he 'lost it' during an argument with a local, foolish, cattle breeder over the fundemental differences between a bull and a steer.

The crazy breeder simply wouldnt take Corey's claim, that we all know is true, that whilst Steers have similar conformational qualities as bulls do, they lack that sac between their legs, and also their navel or sheath is much less defined.
Corey also claimed that steers still retain the hair hanging down from the middle of their belly, and this is, like bulls, where their penis is housed and where they urinate from. These little hair gatherings are pretty much the only way to tell if beast you are looking at is a steer or not.

Quite rightly, Corey whacked him.

Last week Juan Kerr's stocks fell to an all time low after it was discovered his claim to the throne of Outer Mongolia were in fact unfounded.

roscoff punches cats in the face for money.

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