Big Jack owns 98% of the world's prawns. The other 2% are gay so are co-owned by Steve Sunshine and Sootyj.
Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 69
Wills new Comic Book 'Herge's adventures of CamCam'
Didn't get the required sales and sadly has now been pulped.
Steves new script for 'Mrs Browns underpants' will fail and be derided by the 'Catholic Womens Legue' as blasphemous.
dellas steals dreams off sleeping puppies and stores them in washed-out Marmite© jars, hoping one day to release them en-masse and live in a fluffy puppy world.
What a f**kin idiot!
While visiting the marine wildlife park, Juan Kerr misunderstood his wife's directions to the angry dolphins - so they ended up at cross porpoises.
Big Jack's uncharacteristic interest in world politics recently can be attributed to him thinking that Libya is a part of the female external genitalia.
Juan Kerr - 11 all out
c Botham b Atherton
A small owl - in a mirror, also an owl. You watch them; you watch them, their large crested eyes - their talons. Talons on a mouse, as soon as hug it.
You watch them - they watch you - you are them. A grand howl, a twit, a twoo.
Between owls and howls are mice, spliced. With rice.
Woodland.
What has that bear done there?
Twigs. Sticky. You are free, but you are stuck.
Incongruous cack. The new fragrance. By Will Cam.
Big Jack decided to have a tatoo. He talked it over with his wife, and he was going to have a tiny, friendly kitten drawn on the small of his back. He was very nervous beforehand though, and drank two litres of cheap absinthe from his local Spar to calm his nerves. He awoke a year later in a skip with a massive, full colour storyboard over his entire body and face, depicting Clive Dunn being raped by eagles.
Ishy once gave Shakin' Stevens 3 free colonic irrigation sessions in return for Shaky's immaculate efforts in renovating Ishy's dog's kennel.
Initially, Ishy wanted a warm, kind of eastern, theme for his pet pooch. However, after seeing Shaky's suggested mood board, based around a Roman Empire theme, Ishy was convinced. The dog? Well, he f**kin hates it though.
Juan has just bought a strimmer, complete with face guard to tame his mistress's lady garden, after mishearing what she said the other night. She said it needs a good 'trimming', man, 'trimming'!
Alfred Kipper sucks balls, not just ordinary balls though, beachballs.
Upon discovering that Alfy Kipps© was to be holidaying in the seaside haven of Portrush, Nigel Kelly eagerly packed his bucket and spade and tracked down dear Alfy basking on the beach. He then craftily sidled up next to him, ever so inconspicuously, and pulled his Speedos© to one side - to proudly reveal his trimmed testicles - brightly painted to resemble miniscule beachballs.
Obi Juan Kerr never told you what happened to your father. Luke, I am your father.
Big jack has a crack in the back of his sack that is black from an unprovoked attack on a track whilst wearing a pac-a-mac.