British Comedy Guide

Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 58

Big Jack wasn't born yesterday y'know! Actually he was - just before lunch.

Tuumble bought 95% of all Gerry Raffertey's alcohol for him.

It was by knowing Will Cam (who was his milkman then) in the mid 70's that inspired a drunken Mr Rafferty to pen this verse in his smash hit 'Baker Street'

He's got this dream about buyin' some land
He's gonna give up the booze and the one night stands
And then he'll settle down in some quiet little town
And forget about everything

update....

Will still owns no land, is always pissed and shagging around, he lives wherever he can in London and has a f**king great memory. So much for Rafferty's predictions eh?

I like this thread, but Id only comment on certain people on here, for instance Id never make an unfounded claim about say Juan Kerr or mention anything about the village people halloween getup hes got on, way too risky

Shandonbelle is radioactive.

Big Jack is so-called due to his ability to lift a car up off a trapped pedestrian who has been run over. He usually has to do this 3 or 4 times each week.

Juan Kerr was the person responsible for adding the sound effects to the potting shed rape scene in the film Scum.

Trabs has an inside leg measurement of 29 inches. His outside leg measurement is 56 inches.

Will Cam was the only astronaut to make it to the Moon but never come back.

The only reason I got stuck on the moon was asking my former swimming instructor Roscoff to book the travel for me. He booked a one way ticket and swiped the rest the c**t.

**To give balance - his swim stroke analysis entailed a comprehensive in-the-water session which optimized my swimming technique. The fundamental elements of the freestyle stroke were addressed using scientifically supported biomechanical models and hands-on experience. **

**He's still a c**t**

Will Cam spends his time on the moon perfecting his technique by swimming in the Sea of tranquility there. He's taken up fishing in the 'sea' too - but has yet to land his first catch. He's basically a silly f**ker if the truth be told.

Juan Kerr is the acronym for Togo's national carpet bowls association

In 1946 Tuumble invaded Outer Mongolia and went on a Yak killing spree.

roscoff should actually be presented as Rosc off! It's a major insult in certain sex clubs through out the UK. The phrase is usually uttered at a client who tries to barge into an already established coital coupling - often done by the more 'desperate' patrons. It was shouted at roscoff so many times that they decided to simply name him that.

Juan Kerr fooled Richard Keyes and Andy Gray into making the true sexist comments that have landed them in hot water with all the lezzers. He told them they were auditioning for a part in the new C4 comedy sensation The 10 o'clock Show.

Who's laughing now? Kerr, that who.

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