British Comedy Guide

Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 57

Shandonbelle types nekid after nailing her jeans to a shack to ward off the cord elves.

Aw Putters made the Sunmeister blush! This is actually because he showed Steve his vast collection of pygmy porn.

Tuumble was a big supporter of the gay rights movement, until he found out they were benders.

During the recent 4 day state visit to the USA by the Chinese president, Nil Putters played the part of a foot-stool in the Oval Office.

Juan Kerr likes to torment his local greengrocer by deliberately mispronouncing the produce. For example

Lermans
Arpleys
Grapps
and
Orengers

Recently though, the store got their own back by getting the saucy assistant to ask Juan if he'd like any

Coc - ohhhhhh - nuts

She said it so provocatively and lasciviously Juan had a violent climax in his britches.

Save £££££s on toilet paper and make money too. For 50p Ishy will personally visit you at home and clean your bottom. It's his new-found business venture 'How clean is your arse?'. Poor guy means well but, not being a natural business man, he actually pays his clients 50p when he's finished.

Juan kerr's sandwich maker only cooks white bread. He buys all his kitchen appliances from Ray Cist Cookware Ltd.

Will Cam let the dogs out.

Sootyj is a member of the Blind Gay Plumbers Association.

Fortunately for him you only need to meet one of the criteria.

Will Cam recycles.

Will Cam recycles Sootyj's old jokes. He makes them into ash trays.

Will Cam supplies free ashtrays to every household in China.

Laughing out loud

The green cross code is being simplified to

"Stop Will Cammertime!"

Sootyj would like to meet people like you. Call now on 0845 xxx xxx. Sooty is waiting for your call.

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