Will Cam bathes in alphabet spaghetti in the belief it will make him more literate.
Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 54
Roscoff's expose-a-thon road show hits Rotherham today when he is going to perform, for the very first time, his 'celebrity penis exposure routine' - where he trawls the streets and approaches young ladies and invites them to meet 'Percy'. Percy is simply Roscoff's flacid todger poking through a hole in his pocket - with a potrait of Des Lynam sketched on it. You lucky people in Rotherham!
Juan Kerr is Jennifer Aniston's brain double.
Roscoff has just paid out 20k to be the Franchisee in his local area for sticking used Mars bar wrappers on the windows of Ernest Jones jewellery stores.
Well someone's got to do it.
Vincent Price based his hairy gay hairdresser in Theatre of Blood on Juan Kerr, who had a barber shop near where they were filming.
Once while working as a cleaner in Sainsbury's in the Summer of 2006 Alfred J Kipper cleaned vast quantities of ice cream off the restaurant window.
Actually he didn't. That was me.
Tuumble is responsible for every woman in the world having one breast a different size to the other. He aslo shat his pants in Aldi (no one noticed).
Quote: Will Cam @ January 12 2011, 12:42 PM GMTHe aslo shat his pants in Aldi (no one noticed).
Even me - I wondered what that smell was.
Tuumble is in the guiness book of records as having the smallest tongue in the world. It's so small when he tries to speak it just sounds like muumble 
roscoff has fingers in many pies. Unfortunately he now can't pick up his cutlery.
Tummble visits each UK motorway station at least once a year just to try out the toilets.
Ellie is building a boyfriend in her basement out of plasticene and old Toblerone boxes. She hopes to be finished by April 2013.
Chipolata works in the shoe shop where Simon Cowell buys his shoes. They are hand made from aborted midgets. As everyone knows, Simon only has size 4 shoes. As a jape Chipolata gave him a left shoe that was only a 3 and a half. As a result this years X-factor has been declared null and void.
Will Cam is obsessed with the film Splash, and now forces his wife to wear a scaly tale made of old haddocks during all love-making sessions. On his birthday she also wears a tiara of seaweed.
Chipolata has taken something of a shine to Justina, a young Lithuanian lady of the night, who plies her trade near to where he lives. So smitten is Chip that he has recently presented Justina with a necklace pendant fabricated from his toenail clippings and pubic hair. Justina, in return, has granted Chip a more than generous 2.5% discount off his usual preferential rates.