There's a voice that keeps on calling me
Down the road, that's where I'll always be.
Every stop I make, I make a new friend,
Can't stay for long, just turn around and I'm gone again
Maybe tomorrow, I'll want to settle down,
Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on.
At least I would do if Juan Kerr would give me my bastard lawn mower back!
Will Cam once swallowed an egg and poo'd out a bird.
Ellie JP is receiving trauma counselling following the discovery of a Minstrel chocolate in her prized Malteser collection. How it got there - no one seems to know. Ellie needs to snap out of her tortured state soon - otherwise who's going to polish her Maltesers each night? 
When Juan refused to go to the press after he discovered his wife's affair with Timmy Mallett, he got a nasty letter from Mallett's agent threatening trouble if he didn't go public.
Alfy Kipps © is now Giles Brandreth's bitch. Giles bitch whips him with a hockey stick dipped in shit, and wrapped in barbed wire - prior to buggery.
Juan Kerr had a pet Gremlin but fed it after midnight and got it wet, and soon lots of nasty gremlins were born and ate him.
And one of them got Ellie wet and she ate him. Ooh matron.
Alfred J Kipper
On the big dipper
Pulled of his scrotum
And called it a slipper
Will Cam Once re-enacted Hannibals famous crossing of the Alps using Badgers dressed as Elephants
Steve Sunshine has had plastic surgery to make himself look like a young Rick Moranis.
Chipolata grew Roodeye from a kit his old aunty gave him for his 7th Birthday. He lets him out every now and then when the heat is on.
When working on the set of TOTP in the late 60s one night Will Cam upset one of the star performers. It was only the peace song singing Trinny Lopez! Will asked if he could borrow his hammer to fix the set for Pans People who were on next. Trinny went loopey hitting Will with his hammer until Jimmy Saville and three of the New Seekers had to drag the enraged love and peace man off his battered body. The smooth Senor Lopez then crooned out 'I sing about love between my brothers and sisters ooh ooh all over this world.' as if nothing at all had happened, what a star!
Alfred J Kipper once flew over a cukoo's nest.
Every hack in Fleet Street has been after this scoop. The person Jason (dirty bastard) Manford has been tweety-flirty-sleachy with is that depraved ex bus driver from Wales roscoff.
Hi Ros 
LOL your bum
Hey Jas I <3 your cock
There is no evidence to suggest Will Cam is obsessed with either bums or cocks or both.