You can see repeats of Tuumble on UK Gold at 2am on Tuesdays (don't bother though - it's shit).
Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 43
During World War II Will Cam was George Formby's personal grooming assistant. Will spent many a happy hour grooming the hairs adorning George's body - although, it has to be said, that pubic was his fave. It was also his duty to ensure all Mr Formby's crevices were spotlessly clean and clear of build-ups of ukulele oils - a major hazard of playing said instrument.
However, Will's favourite, and most rewarding task, was to regularly massage George's hands with badger sperm in order that his fingering skills were tip-top. Will was eventually fired in October 1944 after George discovered he had been selling his pubic hair online on EeebygumBay- the very first attempts at the internet.
The two most popular pasties in the UK are the Cornish and flaky. The least popular by far is the Juan Kerr (dog shit and thyme was always going to be a hard sell).
Will Cam absolutely fancies the pants off Robert Mugabe. For this reason he hatched his cunning plan.....
He has kidnapped and imprisoned X Factor's Gamu, and has disguised himself as her - down to the tiniest detail. Will hopes that soon he will be in Zimbabwe - where he can stalk Robert prior to seducing him with Sugar Puffs and Vimto. This is unless that bounder Simon Cowell pulls some strings and scuppers his plans.
He is a silly boy.
You may have a Fancy Dan car that has 6 gears. You may, or may not know, that if you have a problem with 5th gear and take it to an authorized dealer, Juan Kerr is informed via an automatic email and laughs heartily for 30 minutes. He only has a Nissan Micra.
Jealousy perhaps?
Will Cam's wife makes him wear a skirt and bra when he goes to the shops. And high heels, the bloody tart.
From my homeland of Chile, I can confirm the following news....
That 71 days ago, Will Cam, an illegal immigrant in our fine land, accepted an offer from a mining foreman, Luis Urzúa,of 770 Chilean pesos an hour (£1) to work illegally as a miner's latrine. When tragedy struck, the 33 miners had to collectively agree to deny any existence of Will Cam. That is why the world never heard of the '34th person'.
Now that the shaft has been sealed forever, Will is entombed in there til death. Covered in 71 days' worth of urine and faeces - from 33 men, and with only 4 dog-eared copies of ¡Hola! and 2 semen-stained back-issues of Chilean 'Playboy' to keep his pecker up 
.
Will is a dead man wanking.
My people of Chile will each year, on this date, pay homage to this great man by means of 'La fiesta de Will Cam' - where a urine-soaked and excrement-daubed effigy of El Señor Cam will be paraded through the streets of Santiago.
Most insurance policies (if you read the small print you cock-chafes) cover you for third party, fire, theft and Juan Kerr.
What do you say Churchill?
Oww Yesssss
Of course, we all know, but I will spell it out for the uninitiated, that Will Cam is a shortened version of 'willy camera'. You see, Will is invaluable to our precious NHS as a Uretha camera. He is inserted on a regular basis, into the Meatus (jap's-eye to you)and into the uretha (piss-tube to you) - where he then spends many a happy hour exploring male bladders - usually for squatters or illegal bill posting. Will just loves noseying around in other guys' bell-ends.
Juan Kerr has the biggest collection of stolen wheelchairs and walking frames in the UK.
John Lucas 101, doesn't believe that bass guitars really exist.
Not many people know that the original top hippy boy-band lineup was:
Crosby, Stills and Trabs
Will Cam lives under a giant thumb. Belonging to Mrs Cam.
Those who've heard of the great Olash Junc - the famous fanny vibrator designer and merchant from Prague (he's the guy who made Jordan's biggest, toughest dildo - you know, the one she lent to the Chilean government for the last 10 weeks), will probably also know that he is the head of a crime ring that smuggles orphaned and disabled hamsters into the UK from Syria(the hamsters are secreted in the vibrators)
To work out who Olash Junc really is though - solve the anagram of his name.
Juan Kerr can suck eggs...out of chickens. One of his more normal hobbies infact.