Roscoff runs a phone sex line for orphaned llamas with diabetes.
Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 37
Tuumble's main job is crawling on hands and knees, comando style, around the perimeter of the B and Q car park in Reading for 6 hours per day. His other jobs include drying Otters by hand at a local sanctuary (he was recently caught wanking one of them off - a female), and catching colds on behalf of people who are just too busy to cope with them. He really is a good egg.
Juan Ker ate 46 placenta's then gave birth to a mutant baby through his arsehole.
Charley prefers Werther's Counterfeit.
Kevin Murphy once swallowed a fly belonging to the trousers of former 'Call my bluff' host, Robert Robinson.
Kevin unsuccessfully tried to sue the producers of ITV undercover cop thriller Murphy's Law, claiming they had "stolen my life". When it was pointed out in court that Kevin had never been a police officer, nor served in Northern Ireland, he staged a dirty protest in the witness box.
Subsequently, in 2009, Kevin was issued with a restraining order after he began to stalk James Nesbitt - often following him into brothels he frequented, and demanding to compare penis size with the flustered actor.
Tim Walker's avatar is actually a recent photograph.
Kevin Murphy has just launched his new price comparison website for prostitutes in his locality 'Scorethewhore.com'. He has been able to star rate all the prostitutes contained therein (217) and make a vouch to his site visitors that he has personally sampled the delights of these ladies of the night within the last 3 months - at least once. When he isnt researching for his site, he is to be found masturbating to pictures of John Noakes and Shep and also Robert Mugabi. He's one horny little bastard is our Kev.
Juan Kerr carries out smear tests on Old Ladies in his spare time. He practices by trying to pull apart cheese toasties.
I often do smear tests on old ladies in my spare time and quite often I find Will Cam up there with a massive grin on his cheeky little face. He loves fanny-dwelling - big time!
Alan Davies had a hair cut for his new role as a man who is a cook like a woman or a dinner lady or a lezzer.
Juan Kerr bought the hair on Ebay and served it at a dinner party he gave to some people he had met on Gaybook. The people were not like the men you see in Wigan pubs but they still kicked shit out of Kerr.
Wot a rotter.
Will Cam can often be seen in his local supermarket licking the Ugly Fruit.
Roscoff lives in a caravan made out of shit.
GototTaxis is a unlicenced cab firm. Regreatfully, after careful investigation it was found that the near side rear brake light on one of the mini cabs was faulty.
It doesn't matter about the brake light, I rarely brake. Bigfella's handbag smells of sperm.