Beaky owns a deck chair franchise in Brighton. that he operates from off shore. He got the start up money in the 70's by forging Hogarth etchings with a safety pin and selling them to unsuspecting art dealers up and down the south coast.
Following a close shave at Boscombe Fine Arts in Dorset, he fled to Spain and now etches Picaaso's in his Villa/ Hideout.
It's meant to be unfounded, Teddy!
Beaky has rebellious underpants, there's been an uprising.
Firkin has gone into his local newsagent every day since Christmas 1994 with the lottery ticket he bought then, still convinced that Mr Patel is lying to him about it not being a winning ticket after the Christmas cracker motto said his life was going to change dramatically.
Mr Patel is taking out a harassment injunction.
Herc wears a suit of living ants at all times, despite the fact that it's incredibly itchy and looks bad.
Chip likes to keep cool in this hot weather by keeping packets of frozen fish fingers down his underpants
Although successful in keeping the temperature down - the downside is that the pungent stench from his fishy gonads attracts cats from miles around
lofthouse still has a family packet of Rinso soap flakes on his hall chair in case the lady from P&G is still about in her Rinso van and he can claim his 10/- note if she calls at his house.
Herc uses his Y fronts as a mouse trap. Cheesy.
Firkin keeps a tally of how many nails he has counted in each neighbour's shed - for f**k's sake don't ask him to show you his note book on it 'cos he'll talk to you about it for hours and point out the most interesting nails he saw.
Herc thought he was suffering from arthritis, but a trip to the doctors revealed it to be rigor mortis.
Chip has his face tattooed on the back of his head so people don't know whether he's coming or going.
Herc threw a litre of yellow emulsion over his 12 year old grandson as it was cheaper than taking him paintballing.
Firkin is keyboard phobic. Or to be more accurate is keyboard finger phobic. So he has learnt to type using just his toes. You should see him trying to text on the bus...
Playfull has such a severe comb over that his left-hand ear is one inch higher than the other one, and this he tries to counterbalance by wearing a large brass curtain ring in the higher ear, but people are beginning to notice and try their hardest not to snigger.
He feels such a fool.
Herc has been trapped in a tineloop for the last 47 years, endlessly reliving the same day again and again. He's getting sick of it.