Quote: Nick Nockerty @ 23rd October 2016, 11:19 AMHildegard Titweavil is the world's only raindrop juggler. But work is drying up.
Booyah!
Nick Nockerty once played a rickshaw driver in an episode of Dixon of Dock Green, but was mistakenly credited as Vic Beetlebaum.
George Kaplan has just patented reading, you owe him £5.
Will Cam named his twelve children after QPR's League Cup winning team of 1966/7. His five daughters: Keith, Ian, Roger, Rodney, and Ron, still haven't forgiven him.
George takes Tigger, his soft toy to bed every night. Imagine his surprise when he gave birth to a Indochinese Leopard. Well, that's what he's telling immigration anyway.
Nick Nockerty came round my gaff last night on the scrounge dressed up as Hillary Clinton.
Will Cam is always "taking the dog for a walk" and "going for a haircut", euphemisms for the covert activities he undertakes daily in his shed. His favourite pastime is stripping stark naked and singing show tunes whilst strumming on an out of tune ukelele. It's the top string that is out of tune by about a semitone. Dreadful racket.
Frankie Rage has held The Guinness book of records title for peeling a banana in the shortest time with his bare feet, for almost 50 years now.
Having the feet of an Orangutan and equipped with his trade mark pork scratching toenails, he is an accomplished champion.
Having the face of an Orangutan sadly, gets him nowhere in the Milton Keynes "Autumn Hunk" gala.
Hildegard Titweavil sacked Rome in 46AD. Of course he didn't? It was 47 AD.
Being such a polite man Will Cam has taken it upon himself to personally write to every citizen of the European Union to say goodbye.
He estimates the stamps alone will cost him £471,500,000 and he expects to get through around 45,000,000 crayons (his writing implement of choice).
playfull narrowly missed out on his bid to become Britain's first astronaut by failing to reach the bottom of the 200-million-liter water test tank due to his natural body buoyancy.
He blamed his failure on "trapped wind" but stunned onlookers at his speed over the top of the water after so much exercise.
Hildegard Titweavil has won the EuroMillions jackpot four times, despite never having bought a ticket. In her will, she's bequeathed her vast fortune to the research and development of frozen fat-free rice puddings - just to make the world a happier place.
George Kaplan was previously called George Kaputt; he changed his name after an unfortunate trip to Frankfurt's red light district.
Brian Brane writes all the questions for University Challenge, and once shared a Scotch egg with Jeremy Paxman.
George Kaplan's famous ancestor Sir Uppingham Bellows Kaplan famously climbed the highest summit of the Kilimanjaro wearing only a loincloth made of teabags and equipped with an egg whisk. He died of exposure but the case was later dropped posthumously
Muddlecombe beat an octopus at an arm wrestling competition, or so he thought.