Muddlecombe was originally called Middlecombe when he was just a whiner in the Lower Third. But when "Joggers" his oafish Sports Master roughly chided him that there was no "I" in "Team" (on the fortieth occasion young Middlecombe had "forgotten" his rugger kit..) Middlecombe avowed there would therefore be no "I" in Middlecombe either. So now you know. What's in a name, eh?
Frankie Rage was an original member of the Sex Pistols. At this point he was known as Frankie Narked, then later as Frankie Perturbed and finally Frankly Annoyed. However after an argument with Sid Vicious after Frankie renamed him Sid Peaceable and Jonny Rotten who he called Johnny Fresh, he was kicked out, not before calling Glen Matlock Glen Matlock and consigning him to obscurity.
There is a picture of Muddlecombe on the wall in a Strangeways Cell... Thereby hangs a tale, or if you've time, two tales.
Frankie Rage once complained loudly in a Catholic Church about the quality of wine served at the Eucharist, suggesting a nice pino grigio would be better
Muddlecombe once started his own dairy business which specialised in mixing monkey shit with cottage cheese. Some 14 years and 2 tonnes of monkey shit later he was still having issues with both texture, flavour and aroma. On his death there was tremendous heartache and sorrow in the monkey community at losing such an esteemed business partner and Muddlecombe's wife was 'comforted' by a number of his former business associates. She eventually remarried to an Orangutan called Marvin, one of the big shitters in the monkey world. However, his new wife soon discovered that it was a quirk of Marvin's shit that had actually prevented the success of Muddlecombe's enterprise and she murdered Marvin in a frenzy of fruit by repeatedly inserting a poisoned banana. She is now a 'lifer' in Strangeways prison with her first husbands picture hanging on the wall of her cell..
Frankie Rage was once heard proclaiming he was Pope Pious the twelfth in a small branch of Somerfield during the long hot summer of 1976. He was carried off by security waving a packet of new and improved cornflakes shouting something can't be both new and improved!
Muddlecombe is entirely bald of hair but has a small forest growing on his scalp - it's called Muddlecombe Woods - within it minute creatures, particularly squirrels, cavort and gambol. Muddlecombe has spent many a happy hour looking in the mirror at the squirrels capering about. Having observed them at close quarters over a long period Muddlecombe has been particularly impressed with their firm grasp of food security. He has since adopted many of their practices regarding the safe keeping of his own nuts.
Frankie Rage is partially deaf and was once considered for a small role in Last of the Summer Wine, the small roll in question was a cheese and onion one sold at Sid's cafe. he turned down the offer after being nibbled on for half an hour by Ivy
Muddlecombe is actually a famous and universally applauded award winning scientist who is working on research that will revolutionise peoples lives across every continent. Mrs Muddlecombe wonders about this though since he often uses his work as an excuse not to do the dishes...
Frankie Rage is a well known stamp collector. He has been stamped on by some of the most famous thugs in British history, he is particularly proud of one inflicted by Reggie Kray. This occurred during an argument about who invented the Spinning Jenny. Reggie insisted it was his Aunt Mabel, the famous vole impressionist and international ratbag, whilst Frankie said it was Heinrich Reichblatter the eminent voice thrower and gravel entrepreneur.
Just for fun Muddlecombe sometimes puts his left sock on his right foot and vice versa. He sniggers to himself about this all day long as no one can tell. He just about manages to keep shtum but gives a knowing wink and tilts his trilby at a jaunty angle as he passes the office Receptionist. If only she knew..
Frankie Rage has often spoken of his strong resemblance to the actor Ronald Coleman, with his pencil moustache, rakish demeanour and sock suspenders. However his wife thinks he bears a closer resemblance to the actual coal man
Muddlecombe is a well-known serial nose-rapist. Ever woken up in the morning with a slightly inflamed nostril? Chances are Muddlecombe has slipped into your house and slipped his middle finger up your nose, to the second knuckle. Whilst fingering your proboscis he chants 'Homes Under The Hammer' over and over in a welsh accent whilst imagining Dion Dublin can present.
Will Cam is a distant relation of Dot Com, the famous Lancastrian house Frau and vegetable masher, who single handedly invented the Dot Com bubble whilst blowing her nose in WH Smiths. This led to the famous depression of the early twenty first century, that saw her laid up in bed for several months with a box set of Tenko and family sized packet of polos
Muddlecombe has gone and got hisself arrested for breaking and entering. It was his own house but the young police officers were otherwise so efficient and courteous he did not wish to complain.