Frankie Rage brushes his teeth with peanut butter.
Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 215
L.E. is a bad ass Korean rapper, with hits like "Scared as a dog in a kitchen" and "Keep your paws of my bitch". However, due to ignorance most people think she's just a kitten and ignore the Korean connection. So she now goes under the handle of Kitty Minaj (she ain't nobody's bitch).
Nick Nockerty is a staunch animal rights activist. He can be found most Saturday afternoons liberating tins of tuna in Morrisons. At least that's what he told the plod he was doing.
Will Cam saw Nick liberating the tins of tuna, he was throwing them in the canal and as they plopped in the water he was shouting, "Swim free! Swim free my fishy friends!"
Will Cam of course told the police. According to reports the eye witness was 'willing, wobbly, woeful and somehow, 'wedded''.
Will Cam's wife was unavailable for comment
Davey Jay is really a bird but he doesn't like to crow about it.
Loopey is adamant that there should be special parking spaces for disabled people holding their packed lunch
Davey Jay insists he cooks dinner on a Wednesday only, so he can cook his speciality of spag bol with his "special" meatballs. His family don't dare ask what's inside them, but eat them so as not to make him angry despite the foul odour.
At Cat school L.E. only asked one question. But she never got an answer and died a little inside. Rigamortis set in and her right arm remains stiff and upright to this day. Until graduation she will remain a kitten; the "Cliff Richard" of Cats (disclaimer: we are not in-furing Cliff Richard is interested in underage Cats, however bestiality has not been ruled out). L.E. we salute you, you Christian pop sex kitten you.
Nick Nockerty has a part in the new Dad's Army film. He plays a 1940's prophylactic. He came late on the first day of shooting and the director said he'd need to get a spurt on.
Frankie recently found out that he'd been adopted by penguins. So when he tells you he was brought up in a nunnery, just humour him.
Nick Nockerty nose his snuff.
Frankie Rage's dad is the man in the moon in the John Lewis add. He tells people his dad us hiding from the Krays but all the kids know his mum caught him with the neighbour's cat.
"Hello" said Will tentatively to the back of her head. He was quite nervous, this was the first blind date he'd been on in years and years (and years)
I'm not sure who started first but as she turned round the place was suddenly full of screams. Will was screaming. His date was screaming. The waiter and the bartender were screaming, even some of other diners joined in with the screaming
He's a gentleman though so Will just pretended it was a bit of a cough. Sure, he was surprised by her outfit but he didn't want to seem rude so he sat down.
Clearing his throat, "hello Dad"
Davey Jay takes many traits from his ancestors who were Viking warriors. His ancestors were a fierce bunch, trained in archery, spear-throwing and swordplay from the age of 10. The most fanatical of them were called "berserkers". Inspired by the Viking God of war, Odin, these fighters worked themselves up into a battle rage that they believed gave them superhuman powers and made them invincible. However, Davey suffered a genetic malformation and although he is all of the above on Tuesdays he becomes a namby-pamby for the rest of the week.
Before his sex change Frankie insisted on being called Franceen Rag (aka "on the rag" ) due to her Viking heritage and her omnipresent anger. Now Frankie feels she/he was being sexist with herself/himself . Don't beat yourself up for seeing red Frankie. Burn those tampons and embrace your cock, you're one of us now.